February 10th 2016
Gavindale, SOUTH CAROLINA- Thousands of bikers from around the United States gathered on Saturday in the small South Carolina town of Gavindale to witness Nikki “Stinkfinger” Nelson accept his LGBTQ lifetime achievement award following over 50 years of championing gay biker rights.
Dressed in his finest leathers and assless chaps, Nelson greeted well-wishers and made his way through the tight-knit crowd of gay Hell’s Angels, Mongels, Banditos and other violent homosexual “1%” ers. Seen as the father of the modern movement, Nelson was the first openly gay biker to be accepted in the Hell’s Angels back in 1968 when rules explicitly prohibited their membership. His perseverance and willingness to endure countless beatings in the face of persecution were cited as reasons for the prestigious honor.
“Ya know, at the time there were gay motorcycle clubs,” explains a beaming Nikki Nelson. “But I wasn’t satisfied with day picnic rides and anonymous roadside gay sex. All that stuff is great but I’m a real biker. I like to shoot people, I like to sell crystal meth, I don’t really like to shower, all that. I can’t ride with people who don’t feel the same. Finally in 68’, the Hell’s Angels saw that I’m just as capable of stabbing a man with a knife as I am with my dick, and they let me in. Wow, seems so long ago now. Crazy!”
Thanks to Nelson’s efforts, today thousands of homosexuals fill the ranks of the nation’s most feared biker gangs. Gone are the days when being outed could get you thrown out of a club or worse, today gay bikers stand together in unity and support each other in their criminal activities alongside their heterosexual brethren. It seems that the tide of tolerance has penetrated even the secure fortress of motorcycle gang membership as it has to so many once bigoted institutions in recent years. For now, Nikki “Stinkfinger” Nelson will ride off into the sunset with his LGBTQ lifetime achievement award in tow, searching for the next challenge to overcome and a new community that needs his help.