The British Monarchy (mon-er-kee), a powerful non-profit organization focused on conserving the country's architectural and cultural heritage, has entered what could prove to be a decisive chapter in its history. On Friday, it launched an ambitious project to impregnate 29-year-old Bucklebury girl Kate Middleton as part of its search for a future leader. Often accused of being a nepotistic cult, the British Monarchy is for the first time breaking away from the regressive tradition of only impregnating virgins in its quest for a future leader.
While experts don't see the $5 billion impregnation effort running into any major hurdles, the Windsor family-controlled organization isn't willing to count its chickens before they hatch. Dr Prince Williams, the man spearheading the Middleton Project (as the impregnation effort is known internally), believes the cautiousness, while not entirely reasonable, is understandable due to the project’s departure from the time-honored tradition of only inseminating virgins – a practice widely criticized by feminist organizations around the world.
Interestingly, Williams is himself a product of such an impregnation effort and is currently undergoing rigorous training as part of the Windsor family's tedious leadership incubation program. While rubbishing suggestions that his fast-receding hairline could have an impact on the eventual outcome of the Middleton Project, the middle-aged Williams' reminded the general public that it could be several months or even years before they get to see "palpable" results.
Note: The pictures included in this article are an artist's rendition of possible Middleton Project outcomes.
Donnie Sarko, Editor Emeritus @ The Magazine of Liberty