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April 20, 2015

R.L. Stine, please pay me


R.L. Stine, if you’re reading this, here are 100 new titles for Goosebumps books:

1. Ghouls Night In
2. The Farting Ghost
3. Help, I’m In a Monster!
4. High Five…of Doom
5. I’m Still Afraid of the Ghost
6. Gorgeous, Beautiful Gravestones
7. The Computer In Me
8. The Farting Ghost II
9. Teen Supper
10. Michael’s Lost His Marbles
11. Hurry Up and Die!
12. Mommy, I want A New Ghost
13. Skeleton Pants
14. Grandma Satan
15. Hee Hee, It Got On Me
16. Carnival at Camp Squeamish
17. Dog, Are You Serious?
18. Frankenstein Auto Supply
19. Check-In Time at Hillbilly Hostel
20. Finger Licking Bones
21. Dog Boss
22. The Toilets Talk On Tyler Street
23. Barry Rides Again
24. Wink Twice If You Feel Me
25. Toybox on Terror Hill
26. Boys Have Penises and Girls…Can Fly?
27. This One Kid I Know Is A Ghost
28. Video Game Brain-Drain
29. Teacher’s Little Dracula
30. Dodo O’Malley’s Miracle Sauce
31. A Bone Buried My Dog
32. Hell Purse
33. Tape Deck Full Of Scorpions
34. Weirdo Beach
35. Weirdo Beach III
36. Caramel, Sprinkles and Death
37. The Singing Boy
38. Hopped Up On Scary Beans
39. Skeleton Super Bowl
40. Is The Man Who Is Tall Spooky?
41. Jiro Dreams of Spooky
42. Eat, Pray, Ghost
43. These Bears Wear Glasses
44. Trashboy in Dirtyland
45. Milk, Milk, Lemonade, ‘Round the corner a SKELETON
46. The Big Boys of Barrel Alley
47. Jukebox, More Like Pukebox
48. The Rapping Ghost
49. Ouch, It’s a Scary Man
50. I Wear the ANTS In This House, Deborah!
51. Red Carpet Volcano
52. A Spoonful of Skeleton
53. Michael Makes Three
54. How Now, Brown Ghost?
55. Sing Us a Song, You’re the Banana Man
56. Braces Ate My Skeleton
57. Skeletons Ate My Soccer Coach
58. Reptilians Run The Media
59. Ghoul Older Brother
60. My Pillow Is a Corpse
61. The Ferocious Ferrets of Woods Town
62. David Dies In Diapers
63. Animal Face
64. Hold On, I’m Being A Skeleton Right Now
65. Fisherman Feet
66. Left-Handed Skeletons
67. Gord Is Now a Gourd
68. A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Bones
69. Escape From Bad School
70. Honk If You’re Dracula
71. A Living Toy?
72. Garbage Trouble
73. My Teachers are Mealworms
74. Bone Cactus
75. B.O. Ghost
76. Blues Ghost
77. Paper, Plastic or Outer Space
78. Good Effort, Tyler
79. Scare Some Change, Man?
80. Bogus Library
81. Weeeeeeee!
82. Dinosaurs In My Sandbox
83. The Demon Boys of Buttford Square
84. The Italian Buffet That Took Me Away!
85. Escape From Internet Island
86. Toilet Clown
87. My Father Is A Bully
88. Parkour You’ll Die
89. Nightmare at Creepy Ranch
90. Lemonade Stand…For Bugs
91. Help! The Janitor is a Freakazoid
92. Beans, Beans the Musical Ghost
93. My Stepdad Is a Mean Ghost
94. Skeleton Baseball (And Skulls Are The Balls)
95. Why I Now Eat Frozen Yogurt
96. Taxes Can Be a Bear
97. A Penny Saved Is a SKELETON Earned
98. The Fishes Are Driving
99. My Glasses Are Contacting Aliens
100. That Ghost Has The Same Name As Me