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January 27, 2009


Spaghetti is neat   
I always want more.   
Eat it with a spoon,  
It falls to the floor.

It kinda makes you cry, doesn't it? It's not that often  you run across such a touching tribute to this great food item. Sure.....You hear all about green eggs and ham. And pizza hits your eye when the moon is like a pie (or something like that)! But this is the only poetic parmesan to the Italian super dish ever created! And I created it! I was eight years old and it was published in the 1974 Semester One edition of the Grimes School Gazette (mimeographed). I'm pretty sure the copyright on it has been expired for a while now, so feel free to exploit it if needed.

Where the hell did that come from? I thought I was blogging about Retail Hell?

No...no, Chris! You don't live in "Retail Hell." You love your job!

Who are you?

I'm your polar opposite. The Andy Taylor to your Gregory House. You don't want people to think you hate your job. Your leadership skills are so layed back that most of your day is 'pond fishin' and 'stone kickin'! Ninetynine percent of the people you deal with are peaches n' cream!

Yea. I know. You're right. It's just that one percent that leaves me wanting to ...to... ARRRrrrrrrrrrGG!

Now easy there son. Put that back in your pocket. Nobody wants to see that. Just look deep down in your heart and try to remember something about your job that is fun. I know you can do it...it's in ya' son! Someone in your retail past has given you a chuckle, I just know it!
You ponder that a spell while I go knock Aunt Bea across the side of the head. I swear if she starches my shorts one more time, I'm gonna hog tie her to the back of a billy goat and whistle at Ernest T.

I guess he...um.. I'm kinda right. There have been some customers that make me smile. And I really do like spaghetti from the floor.

Poke the old lady

Things overheard in a book store:
From the "Third Time's a Charm" Department

Two women were discussing some titles.
"What about this one?" pointing to something on the shelf.
"No, no...don't get that one." warned the other. "I've read it twice, and it's disguting!"

I still wish I saw what book she was pointing to.