Your Favorite TV Shows VS Your College Life…
By Rohil Aniruth
Well, prepare yourself for the…
Wait! Is your father Lord of The Seven Kingdoms? No? Do you have a shit-ton of gold? Of course you don’t. Wait! Do you have dragons!? Nope?
Right… because ‘dragons’ only exist in fictional stories. Kinda like ‘jobs’ after college.
So now you have to take control; start behaving differently, put yourself in the best position you possibly can for your future no matter what, hey, maybe you’ll end up as a powerful Congress person someday…
Duuuuuuude, you have all year for studying! That girl/guy you vaguely remember as HOT from freshmen orientation is going to be there and now is your chance to see what he/she looks like their party suits!
(Apparently you’re some kind of poker god with no personal body image insecurities or some shit.)
You’re slowly wondering over to the dark side… Your priorities are changing.
It used to be about getting A’s but now it’s all about A’s, B’s, C’s, D’s & glorious DD’s and ‘I’ll never smoke weed’ is just a faint voice in your head from 11-year-old you…
…BUT you’re having the time of your life and hey that guy over there is suuuuuuper cute!
Just picture tears falling from Billy Ray Cyrus’ eyes. Now picture your dad. Now picture him looking at his wallet. Now picture tears falling from Billy Ray Cyrus’ eyes.
Dude… Look at the party monster you’ve become… Almost like your mom or dad back when they were in college, only, with shittier music playing.
Energy drinks… Get me… Through… This… Day.
That sweet feeling of regret…
…Maybe should have given your phone to a friend. Maybe shouldn’t have gone for that stage dive.
You are slowly becoming better at reading and interacting with people.
You quickly pick up on what people like and how they feel and you know exactly what to say…
…This may be useful for getting sex.
This is more useful.
You found someone… You like hooking up with this person; they’re kind of fun, your friends really like them and it seems like something really promising BUT you feel like this person is just changing all the time!
Like all of a sudden they’re a different person! Why?Whatever…
…Maybe you are better off being single and hooking up with whoever you want, as many people as you want!
KNOW THE FEAR!
OH… It’s just pepperoni from last nights pizza… Wait… Did you?
You sick fu- never mind I won’t judge, tighten up your tinder game.
Everything is starting to add up… Only it isn’t.
You think you have some idea of what’s going on but you’re only lying to yourself and the truth is everything happening is all a result of YOUR terrible choices…
…and in 4 years you’re still not going to have any idea what the heck happened that night and you’ll dismiss it as just something that wasn’t actually worth giving time to figuring out but tried to lie to you anyways about being something worth giving time to.
Hey! You made it through college!
Congratulations! You are now only somewhat slightly more cautious with your iPHONE 5S.
Share this article around & I’ll mention you by name when I win my Grammy for greatest rap album.
Tweet at me @TheRealRohilA I’ll respond & retweet my favorites because I’m not a dick.
facebook.com/therealrohil if you want to add me and email email@example.com if you want to work on something together, I’m always up for collaboration!