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Published July 03, 2011 More Info »
    SCOOBY DOO AND THE WEINER GHOST!  By Michael Lake     ( INSIDE THE MYSTERY MACHINE )  SHAGGY: So, like I was saying Scoob, it's called "peyote", but it's great because even the cops can't ... VELMA: JINKIES! FRED: What is it, Velma?  VELMA: I just received a new message on my myster-iPhone. Look at THIS! DAPHNE: What IS it?  FRED: That, Daphne, is a wiener!  SHAGGY: Oh, boy! I LOVE wieners! VELMA: Not that kind, Shag! LOOK! SHAGGY: BARF!  SCOOBY: RUH-ROH!  DAPHNE: Jeepers. That's not just ANY wiener. That's a big one.   FRED: It sure is, Daphne! Trust me! I've seen a LOT of them! DAPHNE: You have?  FRED: .... VELMA: The photos seem to be coming from somebody named "RepWeiner".  FRED: Well, gang, looks like we got a  job to do! (LATER)  FRED: Now, to find out who "RepWeiner" really IS!  (THEY TAKE THE SHOPPING BAG OFF HIS HEAD THAT HE WAS USING FOR AUTO EROTIC ASPHYXIATION)  FRED: Oh my! Member of Congress Anthony Weiner!  WEINER: Alright! Alright! You caught me! VELMA: But what a minute. This appears to be another mask. Let's find out who Anthony Weiner REALLY is! WEINER: I am Anthony Weiner. That's my name. And that's not a mask  or a wig. My face just looks like this.  VELMA: Your name is Weiner and you send people photos of your wiener...? WEINER: Yes.  VELMA: Seems a little ... uninspired to me. Even a little obvious.  WEINER: Yes. Well, then. I would've gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you meddling yet undeniably arousing kids!  FRED: Looks like we're going to kick  you out of Congress! VELMA: Well, let's not do anything too rash.  WEINER: Yes. I would rather resign on my own terms.  VELMA: Mr. Weiner, I was just curious WHO was tweeting me grainy photos of their wang. I never actually asked you to stop.  WEINER: You...don't want to me to stop?  VELMA: No! To be honest, I enjoyed all the attention for once.  WEINER: I will be honest, I didn't know you had a red-headed friend who was so shapely. Otherwise... VELMA: Please feel free to send me photos anytime. They get me all Jinky.  WEINER: I'd love to, Velma. But I'm not sure my wife or the American people would approve of that! I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye! VELMA: Ah, geez!  FRED: Look on the bright side, Velma. The world wide web is FULL of websites where you can find literally THOUSANDS of photos of the male anatomy! I can even recommend a few... ah... I mean... VELMA: Wait! Check out this email I just got. I've been... I've been offered a scholarship at the University of New Mexico! Chris Garcia himself said I have the right "credentials"!  SCOOBY: RUH-ROH!  SHAGGY: HERE WE GO AGAIN!  (END)   
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