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SCOOBY DOO AND THE WEINER GHOST! 

By Michael Lake
 

 

( INSIDE THE MYSTERY MACHINE ) 

SHAGGY: So, like I was saying Scoob, it's called "peyote", but it's great because even the cops can't ...

VELMA: JINKIES!

FRED: What is it, Velma? 

VELMA: I just received a new message on my myster-iPhone. Look at THIS!

DAPHNE: What IS it? 

FRED: That, Daphne, is a wiener! 

SHAGGY: Oh, boy! I LOVE wieners!

VELMA: Not that kind, Shag! LOOK!

SHAGGY: BARF! 

SCOOBY: RUH-ROH! 

DAPHNE: Jeepers. That's not just ANY wiener. That's a big one.
 
FRED: It sure is, Daphne! Trust me! I've seen a LOT of them!

DAPHNE: You have? 

FRED: ....

VELMA: The photos seem to be coming from somebody named "RepWeiner". 

FRED: Well, gang, looks like we got a  job to do!



(LATER) 


FRED: Now, to find out who "RepWeiner" really IS! 

(THEY TAKE THE SHOPPING BAG OFF HIS HEAD THAT HE WAS USING FOR AUTO EROTIC ASPHYXIATION) 

FRED: Oh my! Member of Congress Anthony Weiner! 

WEINER: Alright! Alright! You caught me!

VELMA: But what a minute. This appears to be another mask.
Let's find out who Anthony Weiner REALLY is!

WEINER: I am Anthony Weiner. That's my name. And that's not a mask  or a wig. My face just looks like this. 

VELMA: Your name is Weiner and you send people photos of your wiener...?

WEINER: Yes. 

VELMA: Seems a little ... uninspired to me. Even a little obvious. 

WEINER: Yes. Well, then. I would've gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you meddling yet undeniably arousing kids! 

FRED: Looks like we're going to kick  you out of Congress!

VELMA: Well, let's not do anything too rash. 

WEINER: Yes. I would rather resign on my own terms. 

VELMA: Mr. Weiner, I was just curious WHO was tweeting me grainy photos of their wang. I never actually asked you to stop. 

WEINER: You...don't want to me to stop? 

VELMA: No! To be honest, I enjoyed all the attention for once. 

WEINER: I will be honest, I didn't know you had a red-headed friend who was so shapely. Otherwise...

VELMA: Please feel free to send me photos anytime. They get me all Jinky. 

WEINER: I'd love to, Velma. But I'm not sure my wife or the American people would approve of that! I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye!

VELMA: Ah, geez! 

FRED: Look on the bright side, Velma. The world wide web is FULL of websites where you can find literally THOUSANDS of photos of the male anatomy! I can even recommend a few... ah... I mean...

VELMA: Wait! Check out this email I just got. I've been... I've been offered a scholarship at the University of New Mexico! Chris Garcia himself said I have the right "credentials"! 


SCOOBY: RUH-ROH! 

SHAGGY: HERE WE GO AGAIN! 

(END) 





 

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