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February 02, 2016

Who is that man I see? Oh it's my stupid husband, Rick, in a mask.

Once again Ashley Madison steps up its service to those seeking to cheat and is offering to respect the privacy of their users. Think of this as their way of saying, “Sorry about leaking your account and ruining your previous marriage, but trust us on this new feature, your infidelity in your second marriage is safe with us."Ashley Madison is allowing users to add masks to their profile pictures.


OK, I see two photos of complete and total strangers and then one of my sweet and loving husband Rick.

Ashley Madison gets it. You’re a married man or a married female bot profile that just wants to fool around online with another espoused individual. But! While you want to have some risqué fun, you don’t want to risk getting caught and ending your marriage over something as trivial as sexting a bot account or telling a stranger across the state that you’ll leave your spouse for them. Luckily, this mask covers that risk. Pun intended! Also fun extended for those looking to add an Antonio Banderas as Zorro! vibe to their profiles.

There’s simply no way your coworkers, children’s friend’s parents, or, god forbid, your spouse would see you in this Colombina mask and think, “Why the fuck is Rick wearing half his daughter’s Halloween costume on a website meant for cheating on his wife?” Instead, they’ll swipe past your profile thinking, “If I’m going to cheat on my husband, it won’t be with this dude who looks like a creepier version of that guy Rick.”

There are also a few choices for the type of mask you can Photoshop stamp onto your face: Black and Steampunk prom queen! With those options, it doesn’t make any sense to not cheat on your husband or wife. For those of you still a little wary about being exposed, the site promises to soon give you the option to cover your face with a mask that will get you a lot of messages from furries.