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May 05, 2017


WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a unanimous decision, Democrats announced on Friday that they have already chosen to bypass the general public’s vote and nominate a Piñata to run against President Trump in his 2020 re-election bid.

Chair of the DNC Tom Perez had this to say on the decision: “The Piñata has years of experience in getting beaten and torn down in front of large crowds of people, but we still think it has shown the necessary strength and determination to defeat President Trump, and will hold up really well in this fight. Besides, the Piñata already has a very powerful super PAC accompanying it as well, and we simply cannot ignore that.”.

Shortly after hearing the news, President Trump added his thoughts via tweet-storm:
“The very ugly (and bad Hombre) Piñata is weak and ineffective. And I am also hearing it was made in Mexico, so we will need to see its papers. Regardless, I will be tremendously thrilled to bring my very huge stick to the debates and beat the living hell out of this "Piñata” in front of the entire world .“.

As of now, a running mate for the Piñata has not yet been decided, but sources say it’s between an old Punching Bag, or Hillary Clinton, who immediately threw her pant-suit into the ring.

-We will continue to monitor this ongoing story.