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Published August 06, 2010 More Info »
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Published August 06, 2010
                                        THE BETTER TO FEEL YOU WITH
                      

Dr. Skliezdorf looked quizzically at  the antenna stuck in Lt. Carl
Foley's cheek. "That's what happens when you fool with the Narxogens,
heh heh heh."the good doctor chortled. "You don't understand, Doc. This
guy was crazy and he was trying to board the ship. Narxogen or no
Narxogen,  someone had to stop him. And, well, I'm no hero but I was
there." Foley humbly replied. "You're my hero" Nurse XL39 Bingo cooed,
her robotic breasts attempting to heave. "Thanks, nurse, but I was just
doing what-AAARRWHAAGODGODGODAAAAAA!"  "I guess the anesthtic didn't
take; damn arrow wouldn't budge either."Skliezdorf said. "Sorry about
that, Lieutenant Foley." As Nurse Bingo lovingly cleaned up Foley's
blood-covered face(95% human and red, 5% Narxogen and orange), Foley
grimaced, his normal polite self wanting to say "That's alright, Doc. A
little pain never hurt anyone." while his pissed-off currently in pain
self wanted to say  "Where did you get your medical licence? The rings
of Flebular?" He would later be glad he didn't make this flagrantly
racist comment(besides, if it weren't for the Flebularians we wouldn't
have flaxpiller cream). No,he just laid there on his back watching a
middle-aged quack and a horny robot nurse tend to his wounds. After a
few minutes, the good(?) doctor gave Foley a shot and Carl went into
Dreamland. Dreamland happened to be the nearest city in the Glugguggula
province of Roblar 4 which had a decent hospital. When Carl awoke, a
2-headed green lizard-like beast with 4 eyes on each head, was loping
over him. "Brgluzzel flt flt" started the beast and then let out a
ghastly roar. "Aaaaaah!" Adam screamed like a 6 year old girl. The thing
seemed taken aback. :"Blgl flr, then-do-you-speak-English?" A rather
relieved Carl Foley said"Oh, yes." quietly and almost under his breath.
It was at this moment that Carl noticed that the monster was wearing a
smock. "Are-are you a doctor?" Carl asked. Dr. Thing snorted in a way
that Carl guessed was laughter with one of its heads while the other
head made a rythmic clicking sound. "Why, yes, I like to think so
anyway, snort glrgl snort." "I'm actually the doctor but he's the one
with the bedside manner." the other head said. "You're-" Adam started.
"Dr. Clglarian" both heads said in unison, the right head adding "blgrl
snort" while the left head kept a serious demeanor, giving the right
head the evil eyes. "Let's get serious" started the serious head, "Mr.
Flowy-" "Blrgl snort flllt-that's Foley." "Yes, Mr. Foley, you've had a
horrible accident-" "Blrgl-it wasn't an accident, a Vernizore stuck an
antenna in his face!"  "It wasn't a Vernizore", Carl stated, " it was a
Narxogen!" "Vernizore, Narxogen, same difference. Seen one oblong-snout,
you've seen 'em all, snort." "That's an awful thing to say, Dr.
Clglarian." "Sorry, Dr. Clglarian, continue with your prognosis, blrgl."
"Well, anyway, Lt. Foley, we'll be removing your antenna in the morning,
so in the meantime, don't fleeble with it. Now I'm going to give you a
shot  so that you can sleep."  "Speaking of shots, isn't our shift
almost over ? I could go for some Rotzberry Schlupps right now." "Don't
embarrass us, Dr. Clglarian." "Blrgl-me? You're the one who ended up
sleeping with that quadruple-buttocked zenbarian from fleezle blozzle
snozzle snooooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........................
The voices grew distant as sleep took over for Lt. Foley; a deep sleep
and some dreamy visions. First stars, then shapes-squares and triangles
and rhomboids. Green and orange and purple. Then after a spell Carl
awoke. He felt different, smaller. He realized he was 10 years old again
and all this space travel had just been a lengthy dream. He shook off
his blankets and got into his clothes drawer, changing from his pajamas
to jeans and a t-shirt. Then he donned his beloved Giants cap, grabbed
his mitt and headed towards the front door but was cut off by his
mother. "Mister, you're not going any-" she stopped, stunned. "What is
that on your face? Is it an-an antenna?"
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