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Published August 06, 2010 More Info »
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Published August 06, 2010
                                        THE BETTER TO FEEL YOU WITH                        Dr. Skliezdorf looked quizzically at  the antenna stuck in Lt. Carl Foley's cheek. "That's what happens when you fool with the Narxogens, heh heh heh."the good doctor chortled. "You don't understand, Doc. This guy was crazy and he was trying to board the ship. Narxogen or no Narxogen,  someone had to stop him. And, well, I'm no hero but I was there." Foley humbly replied. "You're my hero" Nurse XL39 Bingo cooed, her robotic breasts attempting to heave. "Thanks, nurse, but I was just doing what-AAARRWHAAGODGODGODAAAAAA!"  "I guess the anesthtic didn't take; damn arrow wouldn't budge either."Skliezdorf said. "Sorry about that, Lieutenant Foley." As Nurse Bingo lovingly cleaned up Foley's blood-covered face(95% human and red, 5% Narxogen and orange), Foley grimaced, his normal polite self wanting to say "That's alright, Doc. A little pain never hurt anyone." while his pissed-off currently in pain self wanted to say  "Where did you get your medical licence? The rings of Flebular?" He would later be glad he didn't make this flagrantly racist comment(besides, if it weren't for the Flebularians we wouldn't have flaxpiller cream). No,he just laid there on his back watching a middle-aged quack and a horny robot nurse tend to his wounds. After a few minutes, the good(?) doctor gave Foley a shot and Carl went into Dreamland. Dreamland happened to be the nearest city in the Glugguggula province of Roblar 4 which had a decent hospital. When Carl awoke, a 2-headed green lizard-like beast with 4 eyes on each head, was loping over him. "Brgluzzel flt flt" started the beast and then let out a ghastly roar. "Aaaaaah!" Adam screamed like a 6 year old girl. The thing seemed taken aback. :"Blgl flr, then-do-you-speak-English?" A rather relieved Carl Foley said"Oh, yes." quietly and almost under his breath. It was at this moment that Carl noticed that the monster was wearing a smock. "Are-are you a doctor?" Carl asked. Dr. Thing snorted in a way that Carl guessed was laughter with one of its heads while the other head made a rythmic clicking sound. "Why, yes, I like to think so anyway, snort glrgl snort." "I'm actually the doctor but he's the one with the bedside manner." the other head said. "You're-" Adam started. "Dr. Clglarian" both heads said in unison, the right head adding "blgrl snort" while the left head kept a serious demeanor, giving the right head the evil eyes. "Let's get serious" started the serious head, "Mr. Flowy-" "Blrgl snort flllt-that's Foley." "Yes, Mr. Foley, you've had a horrible accident-" "Blrgl-it wasn't an accident, a Vernizore stuck an antenna in his face!"  "It wasn't a Vernizore", Carl stated, " it was a Narxogen!" "Vernizore, Narxogen, same difference. Seen one oblong-snout, you've seen 'em all, snort." "That's an awful thing to say, Dr. Clglarian." "Sorry, Dr. Clglarian, continue with your prognosis, blrgl." "Well, anyway, Lt. Foley, we'll be removing your antenna in the morning, so in the meantime, don't fleeble with it. Now I'm going to give you a shot  so that you can sleep."  "Speaking of shots, isn't our shift almost over ? I could go for some Rotzberry Schlupps right now." "Don't embarrass us, Dr. Clglarian." "Blrgl-me? You're the one who ended up sleeping with that quadruple-buttocked zenbarian from fleezle blozzle snozzle snooooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........................The voices grew distant as sleep took over for Lt. Foley; a deep sleep and some dreamy visions. First stars, then shapes-squares and triangles and rhomboids. Green and orange and purple. Then after a spell Carlawoke. He felt different, smaller. He realized he was 10 years old again and all this space travel had just been a lengthy dream. He shook off his blankets and got into his clothes drawer, changing from his pajamas to jeans and a t-shirt. Then he donned his beloved Giants cap, grabbed his mitt and headed towards the front door but was cut off by his mother. "Mister, you're not going any-" she stopped, stunned. "What is that on your face? Is it an-an antenna?"