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November 03, 2015
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And if that happens, we're going to have to totally rethink boy bands.

Ohioans are voting Tuesday on whether or not to legalize medical and recreational marijuana. If yes, that would mean there’d be a lot more chilled out people in the already pretty chill state and that former member of 98°, Nick Lachey, will become very, very rich.

Yes, you read that right. Nick Lachey, boy band heartthrob in the ’90s and ex-husband to the Queen of the Chicken of the Sea, Jessica Simpson, stands to get super, duper, incredibly rich if pot is legalized in Ohio. Lachey is an investor in the 10 predetermined Marijuana Growth, Cultivation, and Extraction facilities that will have exclusive monopoly on the sale of the herbal drug in the state.

Colorado pulled in $100 million in marijuana sales in August alone and yearly sales for marijuana usually come in above $1 billion. Now pull your jaw up from the floor because not only does this change our conceived notion of Lachey, this means we have to entirely rethink boy band members. Here are the new archetypes for your classic boy band.

The Baby-faced Sweetheart

  • Mama’s boy!
  • Is a little afraid of girls, but thinks they are totally cute!
  • Not too sexy, more of a best-friend type!
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The Bad Boy

  • The one you want to have a fling with!
  • Has a dangerous side that we just can’t get enough of!
  • Brooding and doesn’t express emotions well unless he is singing and dancing through them!
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The Lovable Goof

  • The prankster!
  • Offbeat and wacky but knows when to rein it in!
  • The one you’d want to be your boyfriend’s best friend.
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and introducing…

The Billionaire Marijuana Mogul

  • Owns a huge stake in marijuana farming and dispensing facilities.
  • Stands to make over a billion dollars from his investments in recreational and medical pot.
  • Someone you’d bring home to mom!
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