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May 25, 2017

January 2016 - In a series of late night tweets, Taylor Swift theorizes that Katy Perry’s song “Firework” is actually a secret Satanic prayer.

Earlier this week, Katy Perry finally confirmed the long-suspected feud between her and fellow pop star Taylor Swift.

But this isn’t some fresh-ground beef that just got slapped on the flat top. This is a simmering beef chili that these two divas have been slowly stirring for years. Here’s a quick look at their A-List tit for tat.


July 2013 - Katy Perry “steals” three dancers off of Taylor Swift’s world tour and takes a kidney from each of her roadies.

August 2013 - Taylor Swift drives to three different Best Buy stores just so she can purchase enough Katy Perry CDs to make a full coaster set.

March 2014 - Paparazzi spot Katy Perry giving a very sarcastic performance of Taylor Swift’s “22,” complete with multiple exaggerated “thumbs down” gestures, at a New York karaoke bar.


September 2014 - Taylor Swift reveals to Rolling Stone that her song ‘Bad Blood’ is about a certain female pop star with blood that’s thick as pudding and stinks like farts.

December 2014 - Katy Perry sneaks backstage at one of Taylor Swift’s concerts and switches out her guitar for a men’s lacrosse stick. Taylor doesn’t realize what’s happened until half-way through her acoustic rendition of “Love Story.”

February 2015 - Taylor Swift stars a rumor that Katy Petty doesn’t know how to type.


June 2015 - At a silent suction, Katy Perry writes Taylor Swift’s name in as the winning bid on a signed OJ Simpson jersey.

July 2015 - Taylor Swift puts Katy Perry’s name on a patent for a “butt hat with elastic strap.”

November 2015 - Katy Perry hires Hollywood’s top Taylor Swift impersonator to publicly urinate on Lucile Ball’s “Walk of Fame” star.


January 2016 - In a series of late night tweets, Taylor Swift theorizes that Katy Perry’s song “Firework” is actually a secret Satanic prayer.

March 2016 - After successfully seducing and then marrying Taylor Swift’s father, Katy Perry insists that Taylor refer to her only as “new Mommy.”

April 2016 - Taylor Swift reveals that she has been “catfishing” Katy Perry for three years by posing online as James Breck, a roller coaster designer and amateur snake breeder living in Stockholm.


September 2016 - Unable to bring herself to kill and decapitate an animal, Katy Perry places an entire living horse in Taylor Swift’s bed.

February 2017 - Taylor Swift hires a skywriter to spell out “I HATE KATY PERRY” over Los Angeles, but due to unusually high winds the message reads more as “I ATE KAT PE.”

May 2017 - Katy Perry confirms her feud with Taylor Swift during a “Carpool Karaoke” segment in which she forces host James Corden to prove his loyalty to her by driving his Land Rover over an paper cache effigy of Taylor Swift.