"Hey, office dog! C'mon boy! C'mon office dog!"
That's what you'd be saying if you had an office dog! I'm talking about a dog that is allowed to hang out at your office. Like, it lives there. Like, it was bought and brought to the office for the sole purpose of being the office dog. You could put your company's name on a little dog shirt and put it on him and he'd just hang out and walk around all day, but that’s just a suggestion.
It'd boost morale like nothing else. Imagine - you'd get off of a long call with your boss that basically called you an idiot for 34 minutes for something that you now realize was a bad idea - you know what you could go do after the call? Hang out with office dog, man! You could go give him a biscuit and shake his paw, too! You could even take him for walks on your lunch hour!
AND it's your lucky day because I have a perfectly good office dog right here, ready to go - and it can be yours for FREE!!
So, hurry up because this offer won't last long and I have to get this Doberman out of the janitorial closet by Monday because management here is flipping out on me for...something unrelated.
Not because of the stray dog I brought to the office...
...it's because it has rabies.