10 Things I Hope Never Happen

2. The ice caps melt and swimming becomes a chore instead of a joy.

3. Herpes becomes a fashion statement.

4. The outlawing of cheese.

5. Doritos become guitar picks, guitar picks become Doritos. (Think about it.)

6. The resurrection of Michael Bolton's career.

7. Lady Bugs become our national currency.

8. The death of Whiplash the rodeo monkey.

9. Metallica and P Diddy collaborate. Diddy says "yeah" 5598 times on their debut album. People still buy it.

10. Robots become self-aware and realize if they never poop, they can never be human. Through efforts beyond our understanding they achieve their goal, but lack proper hygiene. Leaving us to live in a world with shit covered robots and our computers must now reside in litter boxes.