In honor of Father’s Day, we here at Funny Or Die thought it would be nice to do a “Bring Your Dad To Work Day,” where FOD staff members were invited to bring their fathers to the office to see how their (all grown up!) kids spend their workdays. It ended up being a really fun, heartwarming day — and don’t worry, we took plenty of pics!
10am - The dads arrive at the office.
No surprise, Jason’s old man was 10 minutes late. Like father like son!
10:30 - The dads mix and mingle, getting to know each other a little before the big pitch meeting.
11am - Time for our daily pitch meeting, where our dads got to see our ideas in action. They even got to pitch some of their own comedy ideas … and believe us, there was no shortage of “dad humor!”
Next it was time to make the dads fight each other.
A lot of the dads didn’t want to fight each other at first. They kept saying things like “Why are you doing this?” and “We were having such a nice time — why are you ruining it?” We all agreed it’s funny how when you get older, your parents sometimes need you to explain things to them.
We explained that we needed to know which of our dads was the strongest, that it was important, and that they had no choice in the matter.
Then we had our office manager, Josh, seal off the exits and flash the top part of his gun to let them know we meant fucking business.
Next we started egging on our respective dads by whispering a series of awful things into their ears that the other fathers had supposedly said about their wives, lawns, and personal grilling style.
These were all lies, of course, but they seemed to do the trick.
We cleared some tables out of the way and laid out an array of dad-friendly weapons for the men to use on each other — hammers, extension cords, a Big Mouth Billy Bass, etc.
Growing up, we all remember being on the schoolyard and claiming, “My dad could beat up your dad!”, but who would’ve thought that years later, as adults, we’d finally get the chance to really KNOW by forcing them into a no-holds-barred dad melee. We all felt truly blessed.
By now, Kyle’s dad was pulling ahead in a big way. He was real scrappy and, honestly, fought pretty dirty, but that’s exactly the kind of thing you need to do to win in a bare-knuckle dad fight.
In accordance with the rules, the last man standing is crowned the new “King of Dads,” and allowed his pick of the other men’s wives to have sex with.
“Hey, that’s my mom, asshole!” says Mike. This angers the new king and he orders two of the other fathers, now his minions, to bring the insolent boy to him.
In his first official action as King of Dads, Mr. Kirkup takes Mike over his knee and spanks him hard on his bottom. Mike cries, bringing further shame to his own father, who looks on helplessly.
…Then we all got frosty chocolate milkshakes!
Happy Father’s Day, everyone!