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Published December 27, 2013


Crime Scene at any improviser's main transportation's station

NEW YORK, NY- Noticing a consistent decrease in improvisers hitting the stage each week, the New York Police Department has confirmed a startling increase in improvisers being the victims of random killings around the city.

Witnesses have noted that when most people run away from the dangerous situations, the improviser victims choose to sit among the chaos and watch.  Occasionally even smirk.

“In my Improv 101 class we are often reminded that all the great improvisers constantly observe people in real life.  This means that when some psycho starts screaming on the subway, no improv student will turn their head like everyone else does,” said Corey Greene, a student at the Upright Citizens Brigade Improv Theatre, as he took notes in a notepad about my interviewing techniques.  “We just want to observe and always end up making eye contact, bringing ourselves into the situation.”

“I have almost been shot multiple times for trying to photograph the emotions of pimps, drug dealers, and angry cab drivers,” Corey added. 

Sources involved with improv and the arts are denying any connection between good improvers and poor social skills.  “Take Will Ferrell for example.  He improvises and his social skills are comparable to children on the playground,” Corey’s acting agent chimed in.

UCB plans to continue preaching the idea that success is about observation, and will be adding a mandatory “Personal Safety for Improvisers” class starting Summer 2014.


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