Full Credits

Stats & Data

September 23, 2014

Which of your favorite male celebrities' privacy would you most like to violate?

Following the latest round of hacked personal photos of some of today’s top female stars in compromising positions, many notable male celebrities have voiced concerns that they will be targeted next. Sorry, fellas — looks like you’re too late! Here is the list and descriptions of nude photos hackers allege to have stolen from Hollywood’s hottest hunks:

  • WILLIAM HURT: Nude, washing a wiener dog in a bucket.
  • NICK NOLTE: Nude, struggling to get out of a leather barcalounger on a 90-degree day.
  • BRADLEY COOPER: Nude, juggling devil sticks while riding a unicycle.
  • WILL SMITH; Nude, reading script for After Earth and looking impressed.
  • RYAN REYNOLDS: Sequence: Nude, eating ice cream sundae, then falling down a spiral staircase.
  • WILL FERRELL: Clothed, for once.
  • TOM HANKS: Nude, revealing several swastika tattoos.
  • ED ASNER: Nude, engaged in passionate intercourse with Jessica Alba.
  • STANLEY TUCCI: Nude, but somehow looks like he’s in on the whole thing with the viewer.
  • GARY OLDMAN: Nude from waist down, scrubbing tile grout with toothbrush.
  • RUSSELL CROWE: Nude, ruining large wedding cake.
  • ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.: Nude, but impossible to tear eyes away from infuriating, rakish smirk.
  • MIKE MEYERS: Nude, sleeping peacefully in lap of Fat Bastard costume.
  • JOHNNY DEPP: Partially nude (only wearing 29 scarves).
  • JASON BIGGS: Nude, looking at Jennifer Lawrence hacked nudes.
  • PAUL SORVINO: Nude; appears to be mouthing, “Yeah, I’m fuckin’ nude. What the fuck you gonna do about it?”
  • JEFF BRIDGES: Nude, on stage at the Academy Awards.
  • LIAM NEESON:Partially nude, chasing small dog holding pants in its mouth.
  • ORLANDO BLOOM: Nude; somehow even more boring.
  • GEORGE CLOONEY: Nude, mid-prank in which he’s trying to get his testicles into a blindfolded Brad Pitt’s mouth.
  • IDRIS ELBA: Fully clothed, but Good Jesus what an attractive man.