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May 10, 2010

Dear Santa

Dear Santa:

My mommy told me that I should write you to tell you what I want for Christmas or I might not get it. Then I told her that Santa knew who was good and who was bad and that he would never forget me. When I told my mommy this, she got angry with me and said that she would spank me if I didn’t write you a letter.

You know what’s funny, though, Santa? What I really want for Christmas is a spanking. Don’t tell mommy, though. I want this to be just between us.

I’ve been really bad, Santa. I need to be taught a lesson. Yesterday on the playground I took another girl’s bike and pushed it out into the road.

It was fun to be naughty. Do you like to be naughty, Santa? I bet you do. I bet you can be really naughty.

My daddy told me that if we leave cookies out for you then we’ll get better presents. Is that true? What if I left out a Girl Scout…cookie? Would you like that? Would you like that…Santa?

I bet you like bad girls deep down, don’t you? Maybe you should take a walk on the wild side, Santa. Have you ever been with a girl that likes to spit, Santa?

You know, I’ve picked up a trick or two since starting the third grade. I can do stuff with rubber cement that you wouldn’t believe. Maybe when you stop by we can huff some magic markers? See where things go?

No pressure, though. I know you’ve got a busy night and everything, but who better to spend it with than a busy girl like me, right Santa? Hope to see you soon.

Yours truly,

Madeline Evers

P.S. Is it going to freak you out if my brother Trevor watches?