I used to hate September because September used to be the start of school and the end of my summer vacation and I hated school but now I love September.

I call September the “Gate Keeper” month, the passageway if you will to all the glories of fall, football, crisp cool nights, leaves turning color and holidays and food eaten at the holidays, real holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I look forward to it every year.

The month of September also contains many holidays you’ve never heard of before but MemoryTag Cards, the company that made cards different, wacky, crazy for all occasions and video capable—there’s a card you can give someone you know for just about every crazy holiday this month.

Labor Day is September 4 (Monday) and I’ve always puzzled why we celebrate labor on Labor Day when I hate to work and so do you and we celebrate work by taking off from work (a holiday). Thus, it could be said, we celebrate something—–by not doing it (work). Take the whole Labor Day off—to not labor—but to barbecue, drink beer and eat hot dogs.

But did you know September 4 is also “Newspaper Carrier Day?” Boys no longer carry newspapers in their arms and yell “Extra!” like they used to do on city streets. Instead today some poor smuck drives by your house at 5 a.m. every morning in a banged-up car (he can’t afford a better one on newspaper delivery pay), and throws your paper out the window onto your driveway.This guy deserves a MemoryTag card giving him thanks. Get up early yourself, run out and give the “Thank You” card to him.

https://memorytag.cards/collections/thank-you

Why?

Most paper route jobs require you to work seven days a week unless you can get someone to take your route for a morning. That’s brutal. The pay is awful. People who do this do so because they are desperate for a job and no one else is willing to do this. You can give this person a “Thank You” or a “Sympathy”card. Say in the card, “Thanks for the paper. I’m sorry you do what you do.”

https://memorytag.cards/collections/sorry

September 5 is “Be Late for Something Day,” and since it follows Labor Day by only one day, and because you probably drank too much beer and ate too many barbecued hot dogs on Labor Day, you can be late for work (labor) the following day.

September 10 is “Grandparents Day,” and this is time to thank them for all the spoiling they have done for you when you were a child, like letting you eat candy and not imposing any rules like your parents did, letting you break things in the living room without getting angry—stuff like that.

September 14 is “National Cream Filled Donut Day,” a holiday not observed by the U.S. Council on Childhood Obesity.

September 19 is “International Talk like a Pirate Day” and this has become a fairly well known holiday, but it’s become boring. You’ll see a party of young upscale business executives on the 54th floor of a hotel suite sipping expensive wine and wearing fake eyepatches and saying things like “Arrrggghhhh! Ahoy Matey! Shiver me timbers. I’ll keel haul ya,’pip the pop..hoist the jig, raise the misen-mast….Arrrghhh!”

It’s gotten boring because everyone’s interpretation of a pirate is the same…an imitation based on the portrayal of an alcoholic English actor named Robert Newton who played Long John Silver in the 1950’s Disney movie Treasure Island. Everybody still imitates Newton—-and there isn’t a shred of historical evidence pirates ever talked this way (Aarrggggghhhhhh)!

Nobody imitates Johnny Depp—-the new pirate of the movies.Depp based his interpretation of how a pirate should talk on guitarist Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones.

Could we make it more interesting? Instead, portray a pirate as an effeminate masochist (pirates were men who spent a lot of time together without many women around). Say in a whisper with a French accent (many pirates were French), “Parley-vu, keel haul me. Please! Hang me from the highest yard-arm mon-sheree. Let me taste the whip. I’m yours!”

You can send a Valentine’s Card to your favorite pirate. https://memorytag.cards/collections/valentines-day

I can’t figure out the meaning and intent of “Dog in Politics Day” on September 23 except to say I wish we could “SHED” ourselves of many of them (politicians).

“World Gratitude Day” on September 21 is also a bit unclear.Is it us for the world we’re grateful for, or the world for us, or we for ourselves? I think given our pollution, global warming and North Korea it should be “Be Grateful the World is Still Here Day.”

Some holidays could be combined for example “Ask a Stupid Question Day” and “National Good Neighbor Day,” which both fall on September 28.To observe both at the same time you could for example lean over your fence and tell your neighbor, “I’m returning your rake that I borrowed. Could I joy ride in your Mercedes?”

MemoryTag has cards on which you can easily leave recorded video messages and every type of imaginable card, serious and funny, crazy, Happy Birthday cards, Valentine’s Day cards, Happy Anniversary cards, Thank You, Congratulations, Wedding, Sympathy, Christmas, Get Well, Graduation, Father’s Day cards, Mother’s Day cards, Baby Shower, whatever the event. Unlike the old boring store-bought cards, these highly individualized cards come alive. https://memorytag.cards/

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