30 Funny Votes
4 Die Votes
1,568 Views
Published: February 02, 2012
Description: There are certain rules that Men must follow in their interactions with one another. These rules cross cultures, languages, and age. They belong to… The Universal Guy Code (UGC)

The Universal Guy Code is extensive. Somewhere on the list there is a rule about how you must know at least two ways of tieing a neck tie. But here, I've listed out the top 20, most important codes that all men must follow. 

 

Rule #1: Unless at a crowded sporting event, Thou shall not use the urinal directly next to another guy.

 

Rule #2: Thou must be prepared to talk sports at all times with another dude. Have something to say about Football, Basketball, Hockey, and Baseball.

 

Rule #3: Contrary to popular belief, thou may shake it more than twice. But if thou shakes it more than three time, thou hast been playing with it.

 

Rule #4: Thou shall not share what thou jerks off to.

 

Rule #5: When drinking, thou shall not order a mixed drink unless its main ingredient is Scotch.

 

Rule #6: Thou shall not wear tighter jeans than thous girlfriend.

 

Rule #7: When thou knows another man for more than 24 hours, courting any woman presently in his life or in the past requires authorization from him.

 

Rule #8: When talking to a man’s significant other, claim ignorance on all accounts.

 

Rule #9: When an attractive woman begins talking to a man that thou hast known for more than 24 hours, thou art required to bring up something interesting about the man.

 

Rule #10: Thou shall not be the primary owner of a dog that weighs less than 30lbs fully grown.

 

Rule #11: Thou shall not be the primary owner of any cats.

 

Rule #12: If a fight with any man gets physical, the testicles are totally off limits.

 

Rule #13: Thou art only required to hold low level sports conversations with thy girlfriend’s friends’ boyfriends. It is understood that neither of you want to be there.

 

Rule #14: “I miss you” should never come out of thy mouth when speaking to another man. “We miss you” is allowed only when a close group of friends is trying to pull an overly depressed member of the group out of hiding.

 

Rule #15: When picking teams, thou is permitted to skip over thy friend in favor of a better athlete but thou is not to allow thy friend to be picked last.

 

Rule #16: A head nod to another man is a suitable sign of recognition. Smiles and hand waves in which the arm is lifted and the hand moves are not.

 

Rule #17: Thou shall never own whitey tighties.

 

Rule #18: Thou hast a 50% exaggeration allowance when conversing with fellow man. Anything more can be called Bull Shit. When conversing with women, the exaggeration allowance is 400%.


Rule #19: Thou hast a 50% exaggeration allowance when conversing with fellow man. Anything more can be called Bull Shit. When conversing with women, the exaggeration allowance is 400%.


Rule #19: Thou must allow a friend to borrow anything you own with no notice excluding anything you are presently using, women, and anything with superstitious qualities.

 

Rule #20: If at any point thou realizes that thou hast done something somewhat homo, take up to a two minute time out by leaving the room and never speak of it again.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Nf fod takeover 300x250 trump