According to a recent report, the Obama administration’s top counterterrorism and law enforcement officials are divided over which is the bigger terror threat to America — ISIS or Al-Qaeda. It’s true that both terror groups bring a lot to table, so we’ve created a handy visual aid for side-by-side comparison. Please review the below information to make your own decision about which group you should be more scared of:
ISIS | AL-QAEDA |
---|---|
Group’s sophisticated use of social media—particularly in conjunction with Jihadi-themed Grumpy Cat memes—has proven a boon in recruiting impressionable teens from across the globe. | Legacy acts of terrorism including 9/11 afford group high level of name-recognition. |
Similarly, ISIS is an attractive alternative for teens who would rather behead aid workers in the desert than take another one of Mr. Tomlinson’s AP American History pop quizzes. | Good 401(k) plan—attractive to serious, career-minded terrorists. |
ISIS’s unpredictable, pointless, wanton acts of bloody depraved, violence appeal on some level to the Nietzschean nihilism that resides deep within all of us. Admit it—it’s true. | Have a good working knowledge of American weapons, which were given to them by America in the ‘80s. |
They reportedly have a PS4, an Addams Family pinball machine and a lot of other cool stuff in their main hideout in Syria. Teens, schmeens—who wouldn’t want to join ISIS?! | Much larger, more established network allows terrorists who are looking for change of scenery to relocate and kill people wherever they want in the world. |
Having broken off from Al-Qaeda, ISIS is free from all the pesky rules of a more typical bloodthirsty extremist group. | Group enjoys some pretty top-notch—though not perfect (read: SEAL Team 6)—protection in Pakistan. |
Organization is loose, so members can just do ISIS stuff on nights and weekends, if they’re busy—perfect for terrorists with outside interests. | Al-Qaeda has extensive cells throughout the U.S. and Western Europe, meaning your next door neighbor, your best friend, or even you could be a terrorist without you knowing it. |
These motherfuckers loco, esse. | They just have a certain classy je nais sais quoi that newer, brasher terror groups simply can’t match. |