According to a recent report, the Obama administration’s top counterterrorism and law enforcement officials are divided over which is the bigger terror threat to America — ISIS or Al-Qaeda. It’s true that both terror groups bring a lot to table, so we’ve created a handy visual aid for side-by-side comparison. Please review the below information to make your own decision about which group you should be more scared of:

ISIS AL-QAEDA
Group’s sophisticated use of social media—particularly in conjunction with Jihadi-themed Grumpy Cat memes—has proven a boon in recruiting impressionable teens from across the globe. Legacy acts of terrorism including 9/11 afford group high level of name-recognition.
Similarly, ISIS is an attractive alternative for teens who would rather behead aid workers in the desert than take another one of Mr. Tomlinson’s AP American History pop quizzes. Good 401(k) plan—attractive to serious, career-minded terrorists.
ISIS’s unpredictable, pointless, wanton acts of bloody depraved, violence appeal on some level to the Nietzschean nihilism that resides deep within all of us. Admit it—it’s true. Have a good working knowledge of American weapons, which were given to them by America in the ‘80s.
They reportedly have a PS4, an Addams Family pinball machine and a lot of other cool stuff in their main hideout in Syria. Teens, schmeens—who wouldn’t want to join ISIS?! Much larger, more established network allows terrorists who are looking for change of scenery to relocate and kill people wherever they want in the world.
Having broken off from Al-Qaeda, ISIS is free from all the pesky rules of a more typical bloodthirsty extremist group. Group enjoys some pretty top-notch—though not perfect (read: SEAL Team 6)—protection in Pakistan.
Organization is loose, so members can just do ISIS stuff on nights and weekends, if they’re busy—perfect for terrorists with outside interests. Al-Qaeda has extensive cells throughout the U.S. and Western Europe, meaning your next door neighbor, your best friend, or even you could be a terrorist without you knowing it.
These motherfuckers loco, esse. They just have a certain classy je nais sais quoi that newer, brasher terror groups simply can’t match.
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