2. I'm taking a huge dump in Okinawa. I don't think i need to explain why this is a super sweet idea.
3. I want to start a religious rebellion by manipulating an Amish man with no penis, a Russian passivist who speaks only Klingon, a Chinese woman who wears a yamaka, and an animal rights activist who is also a barbarian from ancient Sumeria. This one is just a tad specific, which now that I think about it involves time travel. Not impossible, but could possibly involve sending a letter to Keanu
Reeves two years from now.
4. I want to fist fight someone on the moon. Just two grown men.... maybe one grown man and a kangaroo, duking it out in the cold, vacuous outer regions of the beyond......on the moon. Whoever wins will have to swim back and try not to freeze or explode.
5. I want Anne Coulter to stop talking. I'm doing whatever is necessary to accomplish this enormous feat.
6. I'm going to mercilessly beat the first superhero wannabe that pops up. Why wouldn't I?
7.Bill Gates will be drugged and influenced through Jedi mind control and tequila to pay an ungodly amount of money to Stephen Spielberg to direct the epic demise of Megan Fox through the most disgusting snuff film ever made.
8. I will create a time paradox with my junk.... we can only hope. ......... I'm not showing an image for that. 9. I will mercilessly beat Anne Coulter with Megan Fox's head. Why wouldn't I?
10. Last, but certainly not last, I will wear Selena Gomez as a hat. I would eat that girls clothes just to prove a point........ I guess the point....... is that I can digest clothes. I'll think of something, but this will get done.
11. ...and finally, I'm going to eat human flesh. This is all happening most likely during/after the zombie apocalypse, so the majority consensus says it'll be acceptable. I wonder who it'll be.... Maybe I'll eat David Caruso. That'll be the best part he'll ever play....... with a side of green beans.
I realize at least one or two of these things are ridiculous and impractical. I mean, my junk should theoretically only be able to tare a rift in the space time at best, but I like to set my goals a little higher than just mediocre things like undoing the very fabric of reality through viciously humping the sky in the right point of existence. Sometimes you have to believe that you're better than that.