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June 05, 2018

My sister in law, Jackie, is selling her 2009 Dodge Durango because she has gotten too huge from muscle.

Hey everyone, my big muscular sister in law asked me to write this article listing for her. She is currently selling her 2009 Dodge Durango. It is in bad condition and has over 300,000 miles. The last time I was in the Dodge Durango I was teaching my narcoleptic neighbor how to drive and he crashed into a fence so there’s a huge slab of fence jutting out of the front of the car. My guy, Max, at the auto body shop said if we attempt to remove the slab of fence from the hood of the car the car could combust based on the valves and tubes in then engine which it pierced.

My sister in law is very large and muscular and the car used to fit her great but she kept growing larger and larger due to a steady diet of ground turkey, whole eggs, and liquid form anabolic steroids blended into Squirt soda. She is simply too big for the car now and is looking to sell it.

It is navy blue and she is selling it for $75,000 but is negotiable within $2,000. The car will come with a small rug she doesn’t need as well as an entire CD set of the audio to the film “Rollerball” (2002). Please email me at jackiescarisforsale@jimmurtaghforsenate.com