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Published September 12, 2009
Squash
Squash, what a loser. Seriously, the only time squash gets invited to a social event is during Christmas or Thanksgiving; when all we're encouraged to put our prejudices aside and tolerate our more degenerate family members (people, food, or otherwise), and awkwardly engage them for the sake of humility. I mean, nobody says: "Hey man, come over, we're having squash!," "Need a drink, some squash?," "You guys want me to pick up some squash up for the game?"No one touts their sqush making abilities, and, when there is the odd occasion where squash is being served for dinner, it's always the last side to be named (just like when you have a party and you let that wierd kid in because you felt bad for him): "There's chicken, potatos, gravy, carrots . . . oh, there's some squash, if you want it. 

The only place you'll see a squash hanging out on a regualr basis is in a wicker basket with a bunch of other loser gords on the dining room table of some country bumkins who are probably racist.
 
 
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