So, I read "The God of Cake" blog post from a blogger named Allie Brosh (www.hyperboleandahalf.com), to the kids. I try to really ramp up the drama by slowly scrolling up the pictures to really enhance the progression of the little girl coming into the frame to steal the cake.
Do you know how hard that is? I can totally ruin the experience by doing the following:
“Okay here we go! No, wait. Don’t look! Evan seriously! Turn around you’re going to ruin it!”
Evan: “I’M going to ruin it????”
Me: “Shush, I’m trying to make this work. Okay here it is she’s peeking up over the…wait, what happened? The computer froze? Sonofabitch!”
Connor: "Stop clicking the mouse, Mom!" (Then to Evan) "She always does that. It'll never work."
(***Evan rolls her eyes***)
Me: "Connor I KNOW what I'm doing!"
Connor: "No you don't."
Me: "Yes I do."
Evan: "Then why isn't it working?"
Connor: “Mom, can I finish watching my show?”
Me: “No you can’t, you both are going to enjoy this! Because it’s friggin’ funny! Pause the damn show again Connor…stop hitting play or I’m going to hit live and change the channel and make you wait for a re-run.”
Connor: “It comes on On Demand.”
Me: “Then I’ll cancel cable.”
Evan: “No you won’t.”
Me: “Watch the computer.”
Evan: “It’s not working.”
Me: “It will, hang on.”
Connor: “I hate this.”
Me: “Okay, here we go!”
Finally we got through it and the kids thought it was funny.
I finished out my night with alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.