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Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
quincy jones, infinite prose, Natalie portman, danny McBride, will Ferrell, rashida jones, super hot blonde
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Published March 08, 2013

I dream about girls that look like this. And I touch myself while doing it. I give thanks to the good lord and I make hankey pankey movies. I think about vengence, love, and blowbangs. I remind the dudes I will only touch tips if we are wearing condoms.....and not just condoms, but primarily glow-in-the-dark studded ones with will ferrel logos, where he's all sucking a popsicle going "tis good, tis good". i dream of new girls for new dawns of new era upon new ages with new arnold schwarzenegar sound boards and new glass dildos that just arrived from amazon and  new opportunities in new lands where i actually make adequate wages and dont have to ask myself whether or not i should fire for bankrupcy because i drive uhaul trucks with faulty engines filled with fireworks to south carolina, where they catch fire and blow up with my latio and white brothers (true story). i dream of jumping through that picture with the blonde and the fine, fine aviator sunglasses, where she drops to her knees and gives me twenty cents worth of pain before we dress up like hobgoblins, and rave party with glowsticks, happy people pills and porno scenes with a bunch of spit, where the girls all like "oohwie, you like goo scenes" and im all like "hell yeah i like goo scenes, just dont puke on my pee pee and we'll be all good seniorita." i also hang out with cool people on my 26th birthday. the coolest of them all is named jonathan m berkland, but there will be some other stellar fellows in there as well. i will stare at blue lightbulbs and think about whether or not i will open the new glass dildo and suckle it, saying "oh tiny teet of perfection, you are glass and i am flesh. i want a porno scene where d mcbride comes on portman's chest" and then she'll be all like "puppes!" with some fly girl named rashida. and we'll be all like "bitch now you look here, we didn't ask for no god damned puppy scenes we asked for some sloppy spit on a fillet of fish while rashida hits it from the back and quincy jones is rocking back and forth in an arm chair with a yard full of cartoon bill o'riley slaves who are mowing his yard, while qj is petting a persian cat sipping a can of pepsi reminding the world "tis good, tis good". For those of you who want to yell it out i'll do it for you   "HAPPY BIRTHDAY INFINITE PROSE!"

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