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April 24, 2017
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Just start a successful Etsy store to sell your hundreds of drawings of them!

Breakups are hard, but probably the hardest part of any relationship ending is how you have to show your former partner that your life is SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAN IT EVER WAS WHEN YOU WERE TOGETHER. Here are some guaranteed ways to show your ex that you’re not just an empty husk without their love.


Write a Medium think piece on how great it is to be single and how happiness is an illusion shoved down our throats by Madison Ave

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Get Warped Tour tickets

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Work out until you’re cartoonishly muscular

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Get famous as fuck, then use your celebrity to pervade every single aspect of their day-to-day life

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Like their Instagram photo and then immediately unlike it

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“Accidentally” butt-dial them so they hear you order a healthy salad at McDonald’s

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Write your doctoral thesis on how OVER THEM YOU ARE

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Start a successful Etsy store to sell your hundreds of drawings of them

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Write a lot of posts with hashtags #hustlin #grinding #outhere #winning

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“Accidentally” run into them while you’re out on dates
(Example: Bring a date to their house on the weekend)

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Uh, your 136 Twitter followers speaks for itself

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