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Published June 29, 2009
Virst of all Ich vant to thank the Academy. It’s such an honour und ein privelege to be here on zis stage mit some of the great schvinging schvantzes of ze Hollywood pantheon. Frankly, Ich like zem better mit ze pantsy off!  Because seriously, Zey have beautiful bodies und zey vant to show zem off more!  Nothing wrong mit dat, Ja?

I’d luff to see Judd in zumzing form-fitting around ze backside. Show off his ass a little bit. Zen people would smile as much when he’s walking away. Zat’s a good thing, Nein?

Und Seth, Ich like how he can fill out a dress, really show off ze construction und ze workmanship, because at ze end of ze evening, if it’s still in one piece it vas haut couture, ze real thing.

Vill, Vill, Vill. Vere iss he? I’m saving zis for you tonight, Butzi! Mit Vill ve haff to go mit his best feature, which in front 500 million viewers around ze vorld ve haff to say is his hair. But I’ve heard zum wonderful things!  Oh, ze music is blowing me off! Ich like it. Auf weirdersein,
Mienen leibchin!  

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