NEWS FROM THE FUTURE
ANAHEIM, CA -- The long-anticipated catastrophic ecological collapse continues to take its toll on humanity. With oxygen completely depleted from the atmosphere except at sea level, mankind clings to life in the remains of low-lying communities. One such place is Disneyland.
Underneath "The Happiest Place on Earth" shattered families survive in the park's old service tunnels. The rides above stand as silent monuments to a "once upon a time" that may never return.
Among the emaciated elderly is Grandpa Nelly, a popular rapper from a bygone era. As hollow-eyed children look on, the old man tries to start a dance party by playing one of his songs from the good old days: "Hot in Here
"I wrote this shit, y'all!"
Instead of dancing, the children just sit and sob in disbelief. One bedraggled teen finally raises his tear-streaked face.
"Grandpa Nelly, now we know why you did NOTHING about global warming! You were waiting for the right time to shoot your skeez! Waiting for the right time to flash them keys! And now the only reason to stand on top of the Four Seasons is to… escape the floods."
Grandpa Nelly turns his face away in shame.