PSTech_Belgrade_workplace.jpg

Does your workplace have a good work-life balance? If you’re reading this while at work, chances are things aren’t so bad.

Job listing site Glassdoor released a list of the top 25 best jobs for a healthy work-life balance based on feedback collected on their site over the past year, rating the work-life balance of their job from 0 to 5. See below for the list, along with our guess of what the job is.


25. Front End Developer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.7
  • Salary: $75,000
  • Number of Job Openings: 1,337
  • Our guess of what this job does: Something with computers, I’m guessing. “Developer” makes me think of “web developer.” Also, I work at a website and there are people who work here who we call the “dev” team, and they seem to be the ones who fix computer stuff. Front makes me think, like, the part of the website that the public sees rather than the “back” or admin side of things. So this job is sort of like “Opposite-of-a-mullet computer expert,” maybe?

24. Software Developer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.7
  • Salary: $80,000
  • Number of Job Openings: 3,330
  • Our guess of what this job does:Ah, darn. I sort of blew my load already with all of my “developer” knowledge on the last one. Um, they don’t call this a “back end” developer, but maybe this is sort of like that? Someone who writes software? I think “software” and “code” are similar but not the exact same thing. I don’t know why a “software developer” gets $5,000 more a year than “front end developer.” I guess it’s sort of like, um, you would pay the person who makes the engine of your car more money that the person who paints the car? Yeah, let’s go with that. This job is sort of like a “computer engine builder.”

23. Lab Assistant

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.7
  • Salary: $27,550
  • Number of Job Openings: 779
  • Our guess of what this job does:Whoa, really? Sort of surprised to see this one on this list. This is someone who works in a lab, obvi. I mean, this is basically like Igor from Young Frankenstein saying he has a great work-life balance. This one pays OK, not great. In 2005 the overall median income for all individuals earning income over the age of 15 was $28,576 (via), so this is coming in right around there. Oh, but for what they actually do as a part of their daily job? I’m guessing get to the laboratory, put on a lab coat and some goggles, and then titrate the shit out of whatever needs to get titrated.

22. Solutions Engineer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.7
  • Salary: $92,456
  • Number of Job Openings: 652
  • Our guess of what this job does: Well, I’m regretting making this list already. Solutions engineer sounds like another computer thing, right? Like, a “computer scientist” is a thing, right? Maybe this is like that? I have no fucking idea actually. Would a “solutions engineer” have an engineering degree or, like, a computer science degree? No clue. I’m guessing this is like a computer programmer type job but with more math? I wish it was engineer like a train conductor and it was a job based on figuring out the best way to get between two cities and the answer was always “by train, of course!” But at over $90k annually, I’m guessing this is not that.

21. Content Manager

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.7
  • Salary: $60,960
  • Number of Job Openings: 409
  • Our guess of what this job does:Probably one of those bullshit website jobs. I mean, what isn’t “content” these days, you know? This is a person who just manages all the “content” at a website?

20. Data Analyst

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.7
  • Salary: $58,928
  • Number of Job Openings: 1,954
  • Our guess of what this job does: This is another bullshit website job. I can spot them a mile away because I have one of them. Sure, a data analyst could be analyzing data that is important, like tracking drought statistics or something, but chances are if you are a data analyst you are looking at how many people click on content for a website and then you tell the content manager how to get more clicks and then they ask the front end developer to do something and it’s all just a circle of wanting them sweet clicks. I guess you have to be pretty smart and mathy for this job, but less so than the engineer job so it pays less?

19. Program Analyst

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.7
  • Salary: $71,120
  • Number of Job Openings: 524
  • Our guess of what this job does: This job seriously just seems like a random amalgamation of two of the previous job titles. I wouldn’t be surprised if every single program analyst just sits in their office pretending to be busy, but nobody knows what a program analyst does and everyone is too afraid to admit that so they’re never held accountable for not doing anything. Hot tip for a website trying to save money: Fire your program analyst and see if anything changes.

18. Research Technician

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $36,525
  • Number of Job Openings: 299
  • Our guess of what this job does: This job sounds way more legit than that program analyst bullshit above, but it only pays half the salary. “Technician” sounds badass as hell. A technician gets stuff done; an analyst just analyzes if stuff got done or not after the fact. Life isn’t fair.

17. Web Designer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $53,848
  • Number of Job Openings: 500
  • Our guess of what this job does: Does a website really need a web designer and a front end developer and a systems engineer and a whatever whatever? Look, one time I designed a website with iWeb on my MacBook and it was dope as hell and I didn’t have to pay anybody shit for that. And why does a web designer get paid less than a front end developer and why are web designers 0.1 happier with their work-life balance? Lists are futile attempts to appeal to our desire to be less afraid of a chaotic world by imposing arbitrary order on the meaningless chance of our lives.

16. Software QA Engineer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $91,440
  • Number of Job Openings: 457
  • Our guess of what this job does: I know that “QA” stands for quality analysis. This salary is back up in the $90k range, so I guess from the DATA of this list we can make the ANALYSIS that it pays more to have an engineering degree than just a computer science degree, kiddos! So go to college and become an engineer, otherwise drop out and just do whatever other job you want to do or can get.

15. Marketing Analyst

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $60,000
  • Number of Job Openings: 341
  • Our guess of what this job does: I shouldn’t have talked all that shit about “content manager” above because “marketing analyst” is definitely the most bullshit job. I know because it has “marketing” in the title. Also, it pays an even $60k, which I take to mean that there is no real metric for the value that this job adds to a company’s bottom line, so they just throw $60k their way and call it a day. Corporations, am I right?

14. Instructional Designer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $66,040
  • Number of Job Openings: 782
  • Our guess of what this job does: What the fuck is this job? “Instructional designer”? That just sounds like a bullshit way to describe a teacher or maybe someone who writes education curricula. There is a job for someone who designs … instructions? And not only one job out there with this responsibility, but enough companies have hired an “instructional designer” that this is an entire class of job? Is this profession kept afloat by Ikea having a fleet of instructional designers at the ready to make new instructions whenever a new piece of furniture comes out?

13. Client Manager

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $71,120
  • Number of Job Openings: 503
  • Our guess of what this job does: Man, this job sucks too. Somebody who manages clients? So someone who just massages the ego of the clients at one company so they’ll have their Work Daddies give money to the Work Daddies at some other company? I was a “client manager” a few years ago at a company except it was called being an “intern” and I had to bring clients Starbucks coffees and pretend not to hate them when they were annoying with their meal orders, and I got paid a salary of $0 so I guess the client manager position has increased in prestige since then.

12. Civil Engineer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $65,532
  • Number of Job Openings: 809
  • Our guess of what this job does: This job sounds important but it gets a lower salary than some of these other bullshit website jobs. I bet civil engineers, like, make bridges and stuff.

11. Risk Analyst

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $69,088
  • Number of Job Openings: 208
  • Our guess of what this job does: You have a risk analyst on staff so before you make a decision you can go to them to evaluate the risk of that decision and then they give you the go ahead but they don’t fucking know because nobody can predict the future but then when things go south on ya you can at least go to your boss and not get fired because you did your due diligence and went to the risk analyst and we are all fooling ourselves and nothing matters and other than farmers and doctors we’re all liars and crooks.

10. Web Developer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $66,040
  • Number of Job Openings: 2,117
  • Our guess of what this job does: Wasn’t this one already on this list? I’m 99% sure it was.

9. Marketing Assistant

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.8
  • Salary: $32,512
  • Number of Job Openings: 384
  • Our guess of what this job does: There is no way that this is a good job. See, this is the problem with relying on survey data. We say shit like “These are the jobs with the best work-life balance” but really what we are saying is “These are the jobs that people with those jobs reported as having the best work-life balance.” They don’t fucking know! People lie to themselves all the fucking time. And marketing assistants are probably so terrified of their asshole marketing bosses that they fib the numbers when filling out this survey on the off chance their boss could find out. Marketing assistants are all a bunch of Reeks terrified of their Ramsay Bolton–like marketing bosses flaying them for some minor infraction — how is that a top 10 work-life balance job?

8. Digital Marketing Manager

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.9
  • Salary: $70,052
  • Number of Job Openings: 640
  • Our guess of what this job does: Digital marketing manager? Wow. This job title takes three bullshit things and just rams them together in a three-word stretch.

7. UX Designer

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.9
  • Salary: $91,440
  • Number of Job Openings: 338
  • Our guess of what this job does: How is a user experience designer different than a front end developer? All I know is, I’m afraid of things that I don’t understand so I lash out and belittle them. If I don’t know about it, it couldn’t possibly be important, you know?

6. Recruiting Coordinator

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.9
  • Salary: $44,700
  • Number of Job Openings: 446
  • Our guess of what this job does: Words are wind. I’m sorry that I made this list. Y'all watching the second season of Fargo? It’s pretty great so far.

5. Substitute Teacher

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 3.9
  • Salary: $24,380
  • Number of Job Openings: 590
  • Our guess of what this job does: I guess if you are the sort of person who has a “I don’t give a fuck” attitude in regards to children demeaning you and/or knowing how you’re going to eat next week, then yeah, being a substitute teacher is probably a pretty great gig.

4. Social Media Manager

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 4.0
  • Salary: $40,000
  • Number of Job Openings: 661
  • Our guess of what this job does: It’s said that in the future everyone will be a social media manager for 15 minutes.

3. Talent Acquisition Specialist

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 4.0
  • Salary: $63,504
  • Number of Job Openings: 1,171
  • Our guess of what this job does: This has to be just a fancier way of saying “recruiting coordinator” which is in the \#6 spot, and for that reason it pays significantly more, thus proving everything is arbitrary and the social system is at best indifferent in regards to fairness.

2. SEO Manager

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 4.1
  • Salary: $45,720
  • Number of Job Openings: 338
  • Our guess of what this job does: I guess I’ve sort of devolved from what I originally set out to do with this list. I apologize.

1. Data Scientist

  • Work-Life Balance Rating: 4.2
  • Salary: $114,808
  • Number of Job Openings: 1,315
  • Our guess of what this job does: This job is cool, actually. I mean, data science is an interdisciplinary field about processes and systems to extract knowledge or insights from large volumes of data in various forms, either structured or unstructured, which is a continuation of some of the data analysis fields such as statistics, data mining, and predictive analytics, so yeah, this job is obviously cool.
Advertisement
Advertisement