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July 09, 2017

Prepare to have your mind BLOWN by some bumper stickers.


This sticker gives you all the information you need: The name of the candidate you should like and when to vote. There’s no way you can screw up voting during the election and it’s all thanks to this sticker.


Rhyming helps to drive a point home and here it is masterfully used. Now you know exactly what to do with Trump: dump him!


Specifics are important, because it’s easy to confuse the candidates. This sticker gets that by reminding you that you like the woman. Now you’ll have no trouble knowing who to vote for.


You think America is great – you’ve been told that your entire life, but is it still great? Probably not, but this political party aims to correct that. This is something we could all get behind.


Wow, this bumper sticker goes right for the throat. It asks you to question your feelings about freedom even though it knows your answer - you like it. Proudly, it explains exactly who to thank and what congressmen to call and thank.


Puns crush in the bumper sticker world. This sticker elegantly weaves “crap” into democrat, demonstrating that democrats are crappy. Wow. Naturally you hate crap, so you now know who to stay away from: those crappy democraps.


And another pun. In clever word play, this sticker really sticks it to the left - letting you know what’s right, which is the right, conservative party.


Hell yeah, more puns. Relating a point of view to a food is clutch – everyone likes food. This sticker is speaking a language we all understand and that’s the language of the gut. Yum yum.


Woah woah woah, the one “who shall not be named” was Trump’s running mate?? Fuck. Whether this is true or not, you can’t take any risks because that dude killed people. Time to figure out how to impeach Trump and send Voldemort back to Azkaban.


This sticker employs undisputable science to back its faith and where its god should be allowed. You can’t fight science and you can’t fight god – no matter how hard you try. Now you know this and it’s all thanks to this sticker.


Shots fired wowowowowow. This sticker puts democrats in their place, which is apparently the welfare line - making it clear to you who you want to align your political view with: The no welfare having republicans. You’re a republican now.


Ouch, this sticker straight up drags Hillary and all the horrible stuff in her life she had nothing to do with. How could you, the reader, have wanted to be a part of some victim’s presidency? The answer is: you couldn’t. Thanks, sticker.