The 88th Academy Awards are coming up on Sunday February 28th and whether you didn’t get the nom or you’re not even an actor … one thing’s for sure: you’re not getting an Oscar this year. Or are you?

Good news! Just because you’re stuck behind a tiny desk under loudly buzzing fluorescent lighting doesn’t mean you can’t take home Oscar gold! Since you’ve already been stealing office supplies for years, you can use your bounty to memorialize that thievery forever with your own Office Oscar: The Offoscar! (or Officscar …take your pick!) See below for how to make your own glimmering statuette with some Sharpie markers, tape, and your own trademark Can-Do attitude!


STEP 1: THE SUPPLIES

Here’s what you’ll need:

- 10 Yellow (Oscar Gold) Sharpie Highlighters
- 1 Fine Point Black Sharpie Marker
- Three Staples Invisible Tape Replacement Spools (In Box)
- 1 Roll of Invisible Tape (Any Brand Will Do, You Label Whore!)

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fig. 1

STEP 2: THE BODY

Grab 8 of your highlighters and connect them cap to bottom like in fig.2. Now tape them together as shown in fig. 3 so you have a nice sturdy body for once in your life. Look at you go, Crafty!

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fig. 2

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fig. 3

STEP 3: THE ARMS

Your statuette needs arms, it wasn’t in “the war” after all.Remove the caps from two of the highlighters and tape them to the side of the body like in fig. 5.Oh, yeah now it’s looking good. He must work out!

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fig. 4 Take those caps off

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fig. 5

STEP 4: THE HEAD AND THE SWORD

Take the fine tip marker and draw a serious face on one of the extra caps. The film industry is VERY serious, so make sure your statue reflects how important actors and actresses are to the world. Remember, they are MUCH better people than the rest of us.

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fig. 6

Attach the head with tape on the underside and take the fine tip marker and tape it to the front of the body. Everybody looks better with weapons!

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fig. 7

STEP 5: THE BASE

It’s all about that base … well not really, but our Oscar does need something to stand on. Take the pack of tape refills and tape your statue body to it.

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fig. 8

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fig. 9

STEP 6: ACCEPT YOUR OSCAR GOLD!

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Screw that promotion, you’re already a winner!

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