189 Funny Votes
106 Die Votes
Published May 31, 2012

Thousands of Miley Cyrus fans were shocked this week when the former virgin told Lifetime she loves sex, calling it "Magical!" Having just found out about it, she went on to say, “It’s the only way we humans can procreate."

Most shocked by Cyrus’ statement was underwear model/actor/Miley-virginity-taker, Justin Gaston. “She said it was ‘magical’?" Gaston asked incredulously.

"She must have it confused with something else. As I remember it we were in her room, Hanna Montana posters everywhere, and Billy Ray pounding on the door yelling, ‘Y’all better not be doin’ what I think you’re doing!'

According to Gaston, Cyrus' father Billy Ray thought the couple was smoking Salvia because of the strange noises Miley was making. "Miley starts yelling, ‘Leave me alone, I’m trying to lose my virginny!" Gaston continued. "That’s how she pronounced it... virginny.”

Apparently Gaston had to leave after Billy Ray began to cry, yelling, "if it weren't for 'Achy Breaky Heart' you wouldn't even have your virginny!" Said Gaston, "I told Miley I was going to get some donuts and got the fuck out."