Full Credits

Stats & Data

0Funny
0Die
33
Views
April 07, 2016
Published
Description

In a bold move, the World's Elite have finally broken their silence about the Panama Papers bombshell revealed earlier this week and have pledged to stay the course, continuing the policy of hiding vast sums of cash around the world, paying little to no taxes, and hunting the world's poor for sport.

In a bold move, the World’s Elite have finally broken their silence about the Panama Papers bombshell revealed earlier this week and have pledged to stay the course, continuing the policy of hiding vast sums of cash around the world, paying little to no taxes, and hunting the world’s poor for sport.

Lord Thaddeus Fairchild III, the current chairman of the World’s Elite, told reporters in an interview on Wednesday that ‘The WE does not have any plans to change the way it does business’ and has vowed to ‘continue the traditions of secrecy and protecting the underhanded, nefarious dealings taught to us by our forefathers.’ After laughing maniacally for 3 solid minutes, Lord Fairchild dropped the microphone which he was not holding at the time, boarded his private jet and flew away leaving reporters and others in the audience stunned.

It has been known for some time that the World’s Elite have been protecting their fortunes through less than scrupulous means but many experts now believe that members of the WE are now caring less and less about how the public feels about it. Others maintain that because so much of the world’s wealth is now tied up in so few hands, the WE is now primed for a sneak attack on the poor and middle class, eventually subjugating them to lives of endless TV watching, internet perusing, conventional sex and eventually, slavery.

Analysts cannot say for certain when the World’s Elite will begin their plans for world domination and some say that panic will likely grip major cities in the days to follow. Many municipalities have encouraged residents to stockpile supplies of water, food and outrage in case of civil unrest. No matter what the result, officials think it wise to be prepared and that the real question that should be asked is not if the World’s Elite will attack, but when and where that attack will take place and how many casualties will result.

Advertisement
Advertisement