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November 23, 2016

Between the NBA, NFL, college football and college basketball, this holiday week has delivered some exciting matchups that will help distract from that existential void.

Redskins vs Dallas Cowboys – Thursday November 24th

If you can get over the fact that a team named after a racial slur is playing “America’s Team” on Thanksgiving Day, then you are in for a real treat! Dallas’s young, talented backfield is exciting enough to prevent you from asking yourself, “does any of this matter?” as you washing down your fourth piece of pie with another “America” branded Budweiser.

Ohio State vs Michigan – Saturday November 26th

The rivalry. The game. The weight of intellectually evaluating life’s purpose. Does it feel like too much? Try remembering these two universities assembled a group of 18-22 year-olds that play football well and that should be enough for a few hours.

Golden State Warriors vs Minnesota Timberwolves – Saturday November 26th

Steph Curry and Kevin Durant vs Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins. It’s the current best vs the future of the NBA in a contest that will sure to be filled with plays so impressive you will find yourself thinking “cool dunk” instead of “we live in a multiverse filled with infinite timelines resulting in infinite universes”.

Your Favorite NFL Team vs Someone Else’s Favorite Team – Sunday November 27th

I don’t know. You got to do something right? You got to pass the time. This will do that.

Duke vs Michigan State – Tuesday November 29th

This is sure to be a nail bitter as these two storied programs battle it out on the hardwood for our entertainment. I don’t know about you, but nothing helps me forget the pain of being alive quite like watching two millionaire old white men yell at unpaid black teenagers as they perform feats none of us, including these coaches, could ever dream of achieving.