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April 21, 2017

Starbucks Baristas Absolutely Hate Making The New Bird Piss Latte

“Please don’t order the Bird Piss Latte”

On Wednesday, April 19th, Starbucks added a new drink to their menu- the Bird Piss Latte. The drink, released in participating stores nationwide, exists only to confuse and frustrate the stores’ employees.

That hasn’t stopped people from ordering it. The Instagram hashtags for piss and Starbucks are filled with photos of men and women of all ages posing with the drink. And on Twitter, customers are complaining that the drink has sold out at several locations.


Despite the overwhelming internet support for the new drink, baristas are not too happy about having to make it.

“Please don’t order the Bird Piss Latte,” said Jacob Rodriguez, who works as a barista in Midtown Manhattan.

Jacob added: “Every time you order a Bird Piss Latte, I have to personally collect urine from whatever bird is closest to the store. That’s only 85% of it. After I fill the cup with the bird piss, I have to steam the milk and collect saliva from a stray cat to top it off. Please don’t make me do this.”

Jacob is not alone in his frustration- Starbucks baristas across the country have taken to Reddit to express their shared disappointment in the customers who order the Bird Piss Latte.

Fortunately for the baristas, the Bird Piss Latte is only available through Sunday. The drink is being phased out in order to welcome the newer, better, Wizard’s Cum Frappuccino.