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Published July 22, 2011 More Info »
10 Funny Votes
2 Die Votes
1,207 Views
Published July 22, 2011

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To some, a deck is merely a wooden attachment to the back of your house on which you can socialize, roast mammal flesh over a grill or just sit and pass the time of day. To me, it’s all that and much, much more. My deck is the very center of all that I am, have been and ever will be. It is my greatest accomplishment and my deepest regret rolled into one. In short, my deck is my life. And if there’s anything I can guarantee you, my friend, it is that my deck is bigger – FAR bigger – than your deck.
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My deck is so big, it still has snow on it in the summertime.

My deck is so big, I have to call it “Mr. Deck” in front of company.

My deck is so big it beats up the other neighborhood decks for lunch money.

My deck is so big, you need a passport to get from one end of it to the other.

My deck is so big, there was once a movie titled GODZILLA VERSUS MY DECK.

My deck is so big, it’s been a keynote speaker in two Democratic conventions.

My deck is so big, the Gobi desert used to be a forest before the trees were taken to build my deck.

My deck is so big, it has two votes in the United Nations.

imageMy deck is so big, NASCAR races are held on it.

My deck is so big, there are sneakers called “Air My Deck.”

My deck is so big, Russia sends political prisoners to one end of it.

My deck is so big, it only tips with hundreds.

My deck is so big, it has its own deck. And even my deck’s deck is bigger than your deck.

My deck is so big, the Normandy invasion is named after it (it’s usually shortened to D-Day).

My deck is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.

My deck is so big, you can’t reach the Antarctic without at some point stepping on it.

My deck is so big, three major religions have emerged to worship it.

image My deck is so big, it sold four platinum albums with its band (Earth, Wind and My Deck).

My deck is so big, when Columbus discovered it, he thought it was India.

My deck is so big that it doesn’t take Spielberg’s calls.


My deck is so big, we’re all a part of it, and it is a part of all of us.

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  Special thanks to Dean Baxter and to a lesser extent, Drew Carey.
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