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Published August 06, 2010

............28 long years ago, in between the pipe and the booze, My mother conceived a child only a mother could love! A crack baby. It was a long road to get where I am today,here on Johanwayne.com, but this is my story.

The first thing I remember my mother telling me as a kid,interested in her memories of giving birth to me, was "I didn't even get to eat lunch and you started coming out...at 12:01 pm.". I think back today and think "Really? Thats what came to your mind at 17 giving birth to your first kid....I didn't get to eat!" I realize though that is where my humor comes from. My mother found something humorous in something scary. I would develop the same skill as she had during some scary ass shit during my childhood...or lack there of!

I grew up in Flint, MI, the Crack capital of Michigan....seriously the only good things that came out of Flint have all been agreed upon as null now. example: Automobiles.....Gone now, Fab 5 in Michigan Basketball,most if not all played in Flint district in High School, Dis-allowed for scandal, Michael Moore...well speaks for itself.....Roger and Me??? Really... The only thing we have left in Flint is Gunsales and Crack Corners!!! But I learned valuable lessons as a kid....How to make everyone family was one.....I had a lot of Uncles growing up ...so many I questioned at one point how my Grandmother had so many different Ethnicities come out of her....then I realized my "Uncles"...were just my mom's dealers!!! So Grandma was off the hook and I had no problem giving her kisses again! I learned the value of MONEY...because we had none....We bought our food with Food Stamps....The actual Monopoly looking paper kind.....Thank God my parents were alcoholics in MI when I grew up because in MI you get 10 cents for every bottle or can you return....That is how I got an allowance. Christmas time was an adventure .... Most families leave Santa cookies and milk...at my house we left a case of Budweiser and an 8 ball of Coke!!!! I understand, now, why Mom would yell ... don't lick that plate Ricky...that was not Sugar Cookies!!!!
I had a rough life and experienced loads before an acceptable age or should have seen at all! but I choose to make it funny instead of making it negative. I do Comedy because it is an addiction, a rush, a High....I need it in my life. I am married and a father now...and My Parents are doing Fantastic...completely different people today then Years ago! I thank them as much as I thank you all for making my life Humorous EVERY DAY!!!! My name is Morse........and that is why........................................................................THEY CALL ME MORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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