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December 22, 2011

Be a better girlfriend! I am single!

Hi ladies. You may not agree with anything I’m about to say, or it may not pertain specifically to you, or you may think I’m fucking crazy, but these are just some of my opinions based on years of experience with being in relationships and seeing my girlfriends in them. Not that I'm in one now. I'm fine.

Here’s a list of some common "chick things" that I see with girls in relationships. Maybe my take on things will help you to be more comfortable. Maybe I’m doing it to remind myself of these things too. Maybe I'll never get a boyfriend. WHO KNOWS!
1. Forbidden Fruit. If you tell your man not to do something, it’s only going to make him want to do it more. This is human nature. And the more he feels like he has to hide it, the quicker he’s going to lie. The first example that comes to mind is smoking. Just let him smoke. Don’t make him sneak around about it. If you have a problem with smokers, DON'T DATE ONE. Once he sneaks around about one thing, it sets a precedent. You're setting him up to fail. 
2. Healthy Curiosity. Don’t be offended that your man watches porn or wants to go to strip clubs sometimes with his friends. Believe it or not - porn is not about you. At all. Your boyfriend/husband isn’t watching porn because he doesn’t like having sex with you. It actually has NOTHING to do with you. This is a hard lesson for women to grasp. My recommendation is to let him have this time. You need time to yourself too. Just because you go shopping or spend hours on Twitter or gossip blogs instead of watching porn doesn’t make it any less relevant or valid. Even better? Let him have his own time but also watch porn with him. Show him what you like, show him women you think are hot. YOU KNOW YOU WATCH IT ANYWAY. Foster a healthy curiosity.
3. Bro Nights. Please let him go out with his guy friends. I see so many guys in relationships that have NO friends because their girlfriend/wife has stripped him of his complete identity. You want your man to have guy friends. You want him to go out with them and go golfing or whatever the fuck they do together. You want him growing horrible mustaches and dressing up in weird outfits together. Having a man with no friends will get very depressing, I promise.
4. Have sex. This should be a given but I feel like women get into this place in a relationship where they feel like sex is required of them and it stops being fun. This has never happened to me so I can’t really relate, but I see it all the time with my friends. If your boyfriend/husband pissed you off earlier in the week and still wants to fuck you, DO IT. WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL. I hate seeing women use sex as some kind of reward/punishment program. You know you like having sex. It’s awesome. If you have the chance to do it with a guy that wants to do it with you regularly, THEN DON’T WASTE IT. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not having sex, then what are you doing? People say sex isn’t the most important thing. And I agree. Until you’re not having it.
5. Compliment him. Women don’t compliment their men enough. Not even close to enough. Men need validation as much as we do, especially from the person with whom they are choosing to spend most of their time. Tell him he’s hot. Tell him how much you love his cock. Tell him he looks nice. When we aren’t being validated at home, we seek it out elsewhere. Like here on ON THE INTERNET for example!
6. No pressure. Please don’t pressure him to get married. Please. You will both regret it. What's the rush? It's not even that cool anyway.
7. Men are not mind readers. And if they were? They'd be TERRIBLE at it. If something is bothering you? Tell him. Don’t play games and waste time and get caught up in winning and too much pride. Talk about things and don’t worry that he will think you’re needy. He will be refreshed by the honesty and relieved that he doesn’t have to guess what “Fine” or "Never mind" really means.
8. Be confident. I’m the worst at this. Here’s a secret: guys fucking hate when you hate yourself. Not only that, but it’s insulting to them as they have already chosen you because they think you’re awesome. So just be awesome.
I do these things myself. All of them. It’s easy to be on the outside and say this stuff. I’m not saying all women are the same - I see some awesome relationships that have some, none or all of these components. I’m no expert. I’m just a single girl with a blog and a Twitter account.