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Last week TMZ reported that Randy Jackson would not return as judge for ‘American Idol’ Season 12. Despite being the “glue that holds the show together,” he had to go, and here are his reasons…

1. He didn’t want to live in the shadow of Nikki Minaj’s ass.

randy-jackson-in-the-shadow-of-nicki-minaj-ass

2. He got custody of Michael Jackson’s kids.

randy-jackson-get-custody-of-michael-jacksons-kids

3. He wanted to fully embrace drag queen persona, Jandy Rackson.

randy-jackson-in-drag

4. He got tired of Ryan Seacrest eye-f**king him.

ryan-seacrest-eye-fucking

5. He accepted a lucrative offer to become Simon Cowell’s b*tch.

randy-jackson-is-simon-cowells-bitch

6. He moved to remote tropical island with his one true love, William Hung.

randy-jackson-and-william-hung

7. He wanted to create clothing line called “Unnecessarily Neon.”

randy-in-neon-clothes

 8. He just wasn’t feelin’ it, dawg.

randy_jackson

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