solid oak table is a truly lovely addition to any home/dining room.
Unlike the "comes from Sweden", easy-to-put-together furniture that all
of your friends have/love/rave about, this table is not just some
recycled piece of Ikea garbage, but is actual, hand-made, quality stuff,
carved by an old man with a face that would make you cry - he's that
this thing is not some dinky Chihuahua table - it is fucking enormous
and takes charge of any living space like a boss. Want to fit this bad
boy through a doorway? Ha! Impossible! This puppy will eat your door
frame for lunch and your crown molding for dessert. The table legs refuse to be closed and after hours of trying every possible angle, you'll be
amazed that anyone was ever able to get it into a building. SO AWESOME!
for easy-to-grip handholds? Don't bother: there aren't any! In fact,
any place that you'd normally think to put your hands is covered by some
fantastic, jutting metal, or a nail or some shit! Your best bet for
moving this wonder of wonders is to flip it upside down and take it from
the bottom. It's at this point that you'll notice another of this
table's astounding features! This fine piece of furniture is absolutely the
best for slipping out of your hands, landing on your foot, and causing
you to say things like "Fuck!" or "Jesus Christ, I hate this piece of
stop looking for cheap-and-easy online sales and bring your truck and
$700 (cash only!) over to my place (downtown, street parking available,
if you can find it). It probably won't fit in the back because of its
kick ass awkward shape, but don't even worry about it. I mean, let's be
honest - if it gets a little dinged up, it just adds character! And
besides, you'll never have enough guests over to make use of it and
you'll probably just eat on the couch (See my other ads!).
Thanks! And I hope you enjoy your new (used (VINTAGE!)) table!