When at the bar taking a cab is the best Idea:

* you think you can drive better than
you can walk

* bar cuts you off and just drink from the
ash tray because it contains fluid

* your loser AA flunky friend off the wagon again
says your starting to scare me

* wonder if the alcohol is evaporating from your
drink as it doesn't have the kick of previous 15

* ugly people haven't changed a bit

* someone says you might have wet brain take
as a Jimmy Hendrix compliment

* pets go beyond cute to curious because of tongues
and orifices