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July 08, 2016
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Your subway riding position says so much about you. Find out what your position means!

Your subway riding position says so much about you. Find out what your go to position means below!


Standing, Holding Onto Vertical Pole, Middle of Car

Strengths Weaknesses
Perseverant, loyal, sturdy Tired, dirty hand(s)
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
Try not letting your hand slip down. The bottom of your fist should never accidentally touch the top of someone else’s fist unless you are fighting.

Leaning, Butt Cheeks Slightly Hugging Vertical Pole, Middle of Car

Strengths Weaknesses
Unique, creative, strong butt Rude and horrible
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
Your impact is great and powerful.

Leaning, Against Door

Strengths Weaknesses
Risk-taker, approachable, ingenuous for making a door kinda seem like a vertical bench Uncompromising, aloof, outrageously in the way
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
Try greeting everyone as they come in to the car. You might meet your next good friend!

Standing, with Bicycle, Middle of Car

Strengths Weaknesses
Resourceful, brave Utterly impractical, strong desire to escape reality
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
Ride the bike. Just ride the damn bike.

Sitting, Middle of Three Seats, Between Two Fully Grown Adults

Strengths Weaknesses
Assertive, determined, can-do attitude Entitled, uncomfortable, squished
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
To stay tranquil, visualize yourself getting squeezed into juice, then imagine drinking yourself as juice.

Standing, Directly in Front of Open Seat

Strengths Weaknesses
Original, free-thinker Piece of crap, you’re probably named Ted or something
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
Ted, you’re being unreasonable. Please stop making everything difficult.

Sitting, Using Scary Crimpy Thing That Curls Eyelashes

Strengths Weaknesses
Disciplined, goal-oriented, multi-tasker Reckless and dangerous
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
Eyes are the windows to the soul, so if you poke them out on an unwieldy moving train, well, that’s no good.

Swinging, Having The Time of Your Life on High Horizontal Bar

Strengths Weaknesses
Spontaneous, fun, carefree Completely filthy, overly trusting, possibly hurtful
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
You’ve eaten only candy for 3 weeks, and you’re about to come down from Molly. Please be careful. Also, your rent is due.

Showtime Dancing, Multiple Locations

Strengths Weaknesses
Artistic, Entrepreneurial, Very Bendy Sometimes kicks people
ADVICE FOR YOUR JOURNEY:
Never buy a watch... you’ll always know what time it is 😉
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