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Published November 13, 2013

How to write a suicide note

BY

JOSHUA PROCTOR

 

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 November thru February is suicide season and if you are one of the many who is thinking about ending that sad thing you call your life here are some do's and don'ts on how to write your suicide note. Just remember this is the last thing that those people who don't love will read so you don't want to look like a asshole.......more of a asshole anyway

 

Do-Have a clear reason on why you ended your life

Don't- leave a "Choose Your Own Adventure" note.If Jack killed himself cause of a girl turn to page 5. If Jack killed himself cause of a suicide pack turn to page 2.

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Do- Make sure you write your letter nicely

Don't- Write it like you are sending a text "LUVE U GUYS! :) :) TTYL! FML! :(:("

 

Do- Have well thought out sentences

Don't- Write your letter drunk as hell......"So then I was all like..............fuck you.....thanks Obama!"

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Do- Leave a picture of you in more happy times

Don't- Leave a after picture

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Do- Be original

Don't-  Steal lines from things if you can't think of anything. "......and I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you darn kids!"

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Do- Write your letter right before you kill yourself

Don't- Write your letter years before "I am upset that I won't get to see the last episode of Lost. I am sure they will answer all of my questions."

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Do- Type your letter if your hand writing sucks

Don't Draw a picture if your can't write

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Do- Make a video note if you think they would like to hear you one last time

Don't- Forget to turn off the camera!

 

Do- MAKE SURE YOU KILL YOURSELF!

Don't- Have a plot twist at the end of your letter "...........p.s Turn around!"

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