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September 25, 2011

congratulating CERN scientists on the successful result of the OPERA experiment

Dear CERN,

Thanks, guys! I really appreciate all the good work. As a former time-traveler (in my personal past), I've been waiting anxiously for the first FTL phenomenon (related to particles) to be documented.... I have gotten my hopes up with previous work from Guenter Nimtz, Lijun Wang, Ray Chiao, Novikov, Thorne, Hawking, Deutsch, etc. I really have to hand it to your team that you managed to get 174 scientists to sign a document that potentially could overthrow Relativity. It takes balls to do that (women included)!

For a long time, now, I've held the opinion that encrypted fragments of synthetic speech in antique music (Mozart, Bach, etc.) sometimes bore reference to me (and some of my friends, such as fellow house-mates from Henry Hall at freshman year [c. 1977, in this timeline]). I long ago concluded that perhaps the most logical explanation for this is that I must have been a time-traveler who encrypted messages to my future self, buried or steganographically disguised as 'absolute' music from the past. The idea was that my past self, or my time-travelling doppelganger, could send messages to my present self (in this linear timeline) which would serve as 'signposts' or 'madeleine experiences' to stimulate and rekindle memories of experiences in parallel universes and timelines which have apparently been obliterated by severe information-loss due to alteration of history, etc.

I really appreciate the fact that you have chosen to name this FTL experiment with neutrinos OPERA (which clearly bears some reference to the idea of linguistic or verbal expression in music). Very gifted!

I also remember that I might well have been a multi-billionaire in the "other Universe" or branch of History, prior to time-traveling back to 1977. Naturally, if I provided any funds so that CERN could be designed and built, etc., I think they were well-spent. Money spent on scientific research is well-spent, in my opinion. I once wrote to Glen Seaborg (who discovered several transuranium elements doing his research at the UC Berkeley cyclotron) that I truly believed that those extremely rare atoms he had created, even though they lasted mere milliseconds, were still highly valuable, and that such atoms might one day be used as currency of extremely large denominations. I was actually just kidding, but Seaborg took me seriously, although he did send me an autographed postcard, which I still have to this day.

Remembering another Albert Einstein (comedian Albert Brooks' actual name, before he decided to change it, for some reson), I would like to mention his wonderful movie (costarring the beatiful Julie Haggerty) "Lost in America". A truly great comedy, I think, which deserves watching. After learning that his wife has gambled away their nest-egg, Brooks' character (a former advertising executive) suggests to Las Vegas' hotelier (played aptly by Garry Marshall) that the casino "give the money back". Reasoning that a huge ad campaign highlighting the generous nature of Las Vegas casinos would bring many new clients and tourists into town to gamble away their money, Brooks' character suavely insists that the casino "give the money back".

Similarly, I'm thinking, as a former time-travelling billionaire who might possibly have secretly funded CERN with his own cash, that CERN "give the money back"... Think of the great publicity you guys will get! YOU will look like geniuses, and probably get huge raises in salary. This is great opportunity for CERN, and I hope you take full advantage of it.

My Very Best Regards,

Nicholas Meyler