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September 29, 2010

Is there anyone else more qualified to dole out sex tips?

As we all know, Danny McBride is awesome - something that's been displayed here, here, and oh pretty much any time he does anything. Oh don't believe me? Perhaps you should check out his sex advice.

Nerve.com continued its ongoing series of soliciting sex advice from comics and the Danny McBride edition may be the best yet. Good job, Nerve.com! You can read the whole interview here (and you should), but here are a few samples:
Some Guy: I got drunk and cheated on my girlfriend of three years. It was a one-time thing, and I feel like an asshole. Do I tell her?
McBride: I mean, you're going to hell anyway, so, might as well be happy now. Don't tell her. Keep it to yourself. I'm sure it won't cause any trouble at all. Live a lie. That will work.

Some Guy: I'm dating someone out of my league. How can I not get dumped?
McBride: Just be really insecure any time she's talking to somebody else. Get mad a lot, start a lot of arguments because of your insecurities. That usually works in keeping a girl that's hotter than you.

Some Guy: Have you ever been in that situation?
McBride: No. I always choose girls that are ranked appropriately.
Aaaaand one more:
Some Guy: I hooked up with my coworker while drunk at an office party, but I'm not interested in dating her. What should I do now?
McBride: Kind of too late. You already took a shit where you eat, homeboy. That's not a good thing. Just ride out the awkwardness. See how weird it'll get, and maybe she'll quit. Make things weirder. Push it a little. Maybe send flowers to her from an anonymous person. Just start coming off like a stalker.
I'd put more, but then we'd just be jerkstores. Nerve did all the work here (well, McBride chipped in, as well), so go read it there.