Need a good excuse to ask for more time on your final paper? Sorry, these will not help.
1. Your dog’s going through a divorce.
2. You were recently reminded of what happened to Mufasa.
3. Flossing accident.
4. Not an excuse per se, but when everyone else in class is marching up to turn in their paper, you hand the teacher a Pepsi.
5. You regularly overbook final papers as a business practice.
6. You have a signed note from your vape shop owner.
7. Having your man-period.
8. Your computer chair crashed.
9. Your keyboard hasn’t been connected to anything this entire time.
10. You feel fine… too fine.
11. Jury duty in the family.
12. Your grandsister died.
13. Your great aunt was demoted to just okay.
14. Typing violates your current hand-modeling contract.
15. You had to put your dog down. Verbally. He was getting too cocky.
16. You lost track of time and accidentally took a 3-week shower.
17. A previously scheduled hangover.
18. You gave up writing papers for Lent, and in your particular religion, this year’s a Leap Lent.
19. Instagram drama.
20. You ate your USB drive for safekeeping, but now it won’t pass.
21. One of those 24-hour polios.
23. Russians hacked your first draft.
24. Something you ate. It didn’t make you sick, but it did change your entire perspective on the subject matter.
25. Mono(ply game going long)
26. You had no choice but to use the only existing copy as toilet paper.
27. You just heard about Prince.
28. An endangered bird has nested in your hair.
29. An unbelievable string of your jams came on the radio as soon as you parked.
30. Stuck in traffic.
31. Stuck at the airport.
32. Stuck in line at Starbucks.
33. Stuck in a tree.
34. Stuck in one of those tubes at a McDonald’s PlayPlace.
35. Stuck on a bus that can’t slow down or it will explode.
36. Stuck in the Upside Down.
37. Stuck in a moment you can’t get out of.
38. You only saved it on floppy disk.
39. Your paper is under government audit.
40. You lost a couple days doing Magic Eyes.
41. Pre-school reunion.
42. Eyelash issues.
43. You accidentally typed it in the section of Snapchat that disappears.
44. Clippy from Microsoft Office is sick.
46. Fake news.
48. Global warming.
49. A family emergency.