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July 20, 2011
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"Can a cartoon with a conscience make for good cinema?" asks this article. I can provide an answer: NO!!

I can't understand why the film industry of today can never learn from its past mistakes and failures.  How many successful environmentally-conscious animated films have there been?  I sincerely can think of none.  "FernGully," it can be argued, was moderately successful in its own day - that day being 1992, when the "Captain Planet" cartoon was in its heyday as well.  Let's face it, the time for animated environmentally-friendly cinema had its time, and blissfully moved on.

But just how wrong can they get this?  It's being produced by the producers of the "Transformers" franchise, Don Murphy and Susan Montford.

“With the earthquakes, tornadoes, melting icebergs and all the other problems threatening the world right now, Earth really needs her greatest defender,” says Montford.

No, we really don't, Susan.  We really, really don't.  It just figures, though, that the producers who thought robot wrecking-ball testicles and humping dogs were necessary viewing would scramble to bring back the wonderful characters of Sly Sludge and Gaia.

And please, please... this is TGWTG, and I know everyone loves their Ma-Ti, but please get real.  They're not going to cast Bargo to play him, so he will suck.  Just as he did in the cartoon. 

What more can I say about this?  I'm honestly at a loss.  This is just terrible.  This movie cannot be good - it's got nothing going for it.  Cartoon Network, please stop trying to make movies.  You're just trying to sell property after property.  Not every cartoon makes a good movie.  Not every idea ever thought of can make a good movie.

Money is all that generates incentive in Hollywood, though.  Because "Transformers" and "Alvin and the Chipmunks" make bajillions of dollars, this is the direction we're headed creatively.  If you don't want this... BULLSHIT to continue, don't go see these movies in theaters!  Who saw "Alvin" in theaters?  Seriously!  After "Transformers 2," why would you spend your money on the newest movie?  Please... it's the revenue at the theaters that is driving the creative degeneration of the film industry.  If you want to see better movies come out, stop going to see the shitty ones in theaters!  PLEASE!  PLEEEEEEASE!

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