There’s nothing more American than tacos and tweets.
Me: [on a scale] What? How did I gain weight?— Not Sara (@smithsara79) May 22, 2017
Friend: Didn't you eat Taco Bell for each meal everyday last week?
Me: Uh, yeah, as a *joke*
My favorite food is a hard taco wrapped in a soft tortilla stuffed inside an enchilada which is fried into a chimichanga, served in a piñata— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) April 22, 2017
[first day of juice diet] my taco broke the blender— mo (@chuuew) June 2, 2017
MECHANIC: what's the problem?— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) March 5, 2017
ME: my car won't start
MECHANIC: did... did you stuff a taco in the gas tank?
ME: it was hungry
Dog Park—Lisa Mari (@xLiserx) December 18, 2016
Kid: What's his name?
Me: Dorito. He's a therapy taco. Don't pet him.
Taco:*Chases it. Lettuce flies everywhere*
If you see me eating a salad, know it's just a pile of whatever fell out of my tacos.— Ally Hord (@hordie) October 12, 2016
Witnessed Guinness World Record breakers tonight: I heard the Taco Bell drive-thru speaker say to the car ahead, "Your total is 41 DOLLARS"— April Richardson (@Apey) May 21, 2017
Stop acting so surprised. I think we all knew humanity was done for when someone said, 'Let's make a taco shell out of fried chicken'— beth can't with this (@bourgeoisalien) May 27, 2017
yall really saving money living with your parents? LMAO city life is lit i just put a downpayment on a taco dinner got some guac in layaway— jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) May 3, 2017
I've yet to determine how many tacos is too many to eat, merely how many tacos is too many to eat in front of horrified dining companions.— maura quint (@behindyourback) May 1, 2017
"I don't feel like cooking for you fuckers tonight. Just gonna chuck different crap in this edible bowl."— Adam McKay (@GhostPanther) August 10, 2016
- the invention of the taco salad
"welcome to taco bell, how may I help you?"— burtrrito (@iamburtjarvis) May 2, 2017
me: [makes drunk people noises]
"22.65. drive to the next window"
All I ever wanted in life was to be someone's Bonnie to their Clyde, but rob taco trucks.— Elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) June 18, 2017
Worst Taco Tuesday ever. pic.twitter.com/FxGX0PnJPq— Mr. Drinks On Me (@Mr_DrinksOnMe) June 27, 2017
[first day as a negotiator]— David Hughes (@david8hughes) November 12, 2016
Me: what are your demands?
Terrorist: I want a helicopter
Me: fuck off mate I meant do you want pizza or tacos
can i get a... [forgets the word for burrito] a limp taco— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) March 12, 2017
Come for our tacos— John Moe (@johnmoe) May 2, 2016
STAY for our tacos
Leave because of our tacos
Return because of our tacos
Cry for our tacos
We have pretty complex tacos
STEPHEN A. SMITH'S FIESTA TACOS— Slammin Bod Jeb Lund (@Mobute) June 3, 2016
• 6 hard taco shells
• 6 Taco Bell tacos
• Fire™ sauce
1. Empty Taco Bell tacos into taco shells.
i'm just a girl* in the world— miel (@miel) March 12, 2017
*grown adult woman
taco spot having a panic attack because i can't get my burrito out the foil fast enough
If I was rich I'd hire a personal chef to make me Jack in the Box tacos. "No! Shittier," I'd yell as I send it back for the dozenth time.— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) February 27, 2017
*sobbing uncontrollably into my mother's arms*— brian essbe (@SortaBad) May 14, 2015
[whispering to her friend] "He thought the actual truck would be made out of a taco"
This fucking idiot is eating his Taco Bell Dorito Crunch Volcano Nacho Breakfast Bowl Salad with a fork instead of chopsticks— derek (@eedrk) March 28, 2017
Hotdogs: America's taco— cosmic o'conscious (@hippieswordfish) December 9, 2016